In spite of his cheerfulness, six or eight hours had sufficed to make him look gaunt and wan. He could no longer smile without an effort; there seemed to be a short but terrible struggle going on between him and bodily pain. Finally his courage and energy got the upper hand; pain was for the moment vanquished. His daughter, the Comtesse Palfi, came in to administer the potions prescribed by Malfati; we left them. When Golowkin and I were outside on the ramparts, we did not pretend to disguise our uneasiness from each other. Golowkin was sincerely attached to the prince. At eight the next morning I was at the prince’s with Griffiths, who, having all his life made the science of healing a particular study, felt only too pleased to assist one he liked so well. The prince was very depressed; the presentiment of his end made him sad. ‘I know,’ he said, ‘nature will not be balked. We must vacate the space we occupy in this world for some other people. We must make up our minds to it. Nevertheless, I feel this: the greatest sting of death is the fact of leaving those whom we love.’ I felt the tears getting into my eyes. ‘Come, come,’ he said, ‘don’t be afraid, the “camarde” will be mistaken once more.[93] To-morrow my pain will be gone like the dream of a night.’ Then he was silent for a few moments, as if pondering. ‘What a sad thing is the past,’ he remarked at last. ‘The recollection of it is horrid; if it has been a happy past, it’s hard to say to oneself, “I have been happy.” When one falls to thinking of one’s moments of glory and of happiness, of one’s first attempts, even of the games of childhood, the thoughts are sufficient to kill one there and then with regret. Nevertheless, if I could have my time over again, or could return on earth after my death, I should do almost everything I have already done. My poetry and my love-affairs are the greatest sins I have committed, and Heaven has never withheld its forgiveness for such errors. The only thing I should endeavour to do would be not to give the same persons a chance of being ungrateful to me. After all, I would only give others a chance....’