"Worn-out Hackney-coaches should in a particular manner be looked into, because none but those in easy circumstances can be affected by their breaking-down in the streets. This regulation in no shape regards my family, because I never suffer my _Moll_ to enter one till I have first properly surveyed it. "That Cheesemongers should not set out their butter and cheese so near the edge of their shop-windows, nor put their firkins in the path-ways, by which many a good coat and silk gown may be spoiled; as by advertising in the papers his shop will be sufficiently known, without carrying home the shop-bill upon their clothes. "Ladders, pieces of timber, &c. should by no means be suffered to be carried upon men's shoulders within the posts of this City, because, by a sudden stop, they may as well poke out the eye of a rich man as that of a poor one. "Chairmen, as they are a kind of human nags, ought to amble without-side the posts as well as other brutes. "It is needless for ladies of a certain cast to patrole the streets at noon-day with a bundle in one hand, as they carry an evident sign of their profession in their eye. "Long swords are a nuisance in the City at Change-time, as the wearer may very well receive a bill without that dangerous weapon; and as it is not often he comes into it to pay one. "Churches are no places to sleep in, because, if a person snores too loud, he not only disturbs the congregation, but is apt to ruffle the preacher's temper. "Barbers and Chimney-sweepers have no right by charter to rub against a person well-dressed, and then offer him satisfaction by single combat. "Splashing a gentleman with white silk stockings designedly is a breach of decency, and utterly unknown at Wapping or Hockley in the Hole. "That reading these hints and not endeavouring to redress them, will be a fault somewhere, but not in CRISPIN." The whimsical manner in which the above customs are reprehended, was fairly matched by the following notice from the Publick Advertiser, issued in downright serious earnest. "To the Inhabitants of the Parish of St. Faith. "I have observed of late years, that the London meeting-houses of all Sectaries have crowded audiences, and that the Prayers of our established Church are read, and the Sermons of her Ministers preached, to empty seats, unless at places where some new-fangled doctrines are propagated to captivate weak minds. It becomes me as an honest man, and agreeable to the oath I have taken, earnestly to admonish you to attend the service of the Church on Sundays, unless prevented by occasions that are lawful.