It has long been customary for the lower classes to hold a burlesque election at Wandsworth after a dissolution of Parliament for the choice of a Mayor of Garratt. To describe the strange proceedings of the candidates, who are always selected from the most ludicrous or most hideous of the community, or the riotous freaks of the mob, would be impossible. One vast wave of the populace rolls impetuous from London after the candidates and officers of the election; and, if there is but little taste in their dresses, there is always much "unreal mockery" of finery disposed in a manner which cannot but excite laughter, and the curiosity of those who are but little satisfied to witness the quarrels and intoxication that distinguish the electors of the borough of Garratt. Many whimsical and satirical imitations of speeches and promises are made upon these occasions; but the electors, contrary to the customs of other elections, always _treat themselves_, though _tin_ sixpences have sometimes been thrown amongst the mob _as bribes_. The present member for Garratt is _Sir_ Henry Dimsdale, Citizen and Muffin-seller, one of the oddest productions of injured nature, _and an idiot_. It is strange that the people who act these follies cannot perceive they are satirizing themselves. If they were not willing to be deceived, promises never meant to be performed would not be made; and, if they would neither receive bribes nor be treated, candidates would never offer the former, or furnish materials for the latter. When they chair a real member through Westminster, after having violated the freedom of election by deeds which deserve hanging, these wanton fools pull the hustings over their own heads, and frequently maim peaceable spectators.--Such are the electors of Garratt and . . . . . . . . ! FOOTNOTES: [231:A] "This should be _Cuper's_ gardens, formerly the Bear Garden." _European Magazine._ [231:B] "This should be the _Folly_; a very large vessel, said to have been the hulk of a ship of war or frigate, which was moored on the Surrey-side of the Thames, nearly opposite Hungerford stairs, and, consequently, abreast of _Cuper's_ gardens. It was used as a floating _tavern_ and _bagnio_. The proprietors had an idea, that a licence was not necessary for a place of this _description on the river_, and it was continued many years unrestrained, till at length its enormities became so notorious, that its suppression was deemed a most necessary object of Police." _Ibid._ [232:A] At Hoxton. [233:A] Heraclitus Ridens. [244:A] No Coaches to be admitted but with six horses, nor any Coach to come into the Park after ten of the clock in the morning. [257:A] Daughter to the earl of Ranelagh. [266:A] Original Weekly Journal, May 21, 1720.