Angel: A sketch in Indian inkCroker, B. M. (Bithia Mary)
History
Angel: A sketch in Indian ink
Croker, B. M. (Bithia Mary)
British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction
"Yes, your vision is clear;—I will not palter or fight off, or
equivocate,—I do love Alan. Oh, what a relief it is to speak aloud,
what I have scarcely dared to whisper to my own heart. Love has come to
me at last; hitherto I have starved in the midst of plenty, now cruel
fate has brought me a great gift—which I may not accept. I nursed Alan
back to life—he had gone to the very edge of the grave, and he says
my voice recalled him; that he loved me, only dawned upon me recently;
he has never dared to tell me in so many words, but I know it, and
the fact fills me with almost intolerable joy. My husband is cold and
formal; I was freezing into the same mould. Alan has melted my heart;
I've warmed my hands before the fire of life——"
"Yes," interrupted Angel, finishing the quotation, "but it does not
sink—nor are you ready to depart! Elinor, I beseech you, send Mr.
Lindsay away. You are not as other women—you have a name and example
to live up to; your influence has been like a star, which, if it falls,
means black darkness to hundreds."
"You need not be afraid, Angel," said Mrs. Gordon with a sob; "I will
never succumb—with God's help—but you do not realise what it is, to
starve and shiver for years, and then be offered your heart's desire,
only to refuse it; a supreme influence seems to have taken possession
of me, undefinable, and impalpable, but real and actual, as light or
the electric current. But I see that you despise me; in your eyes I
have fallen from my high estate," and she rose and threw her arms
tightly round Angel. "Yes, I despise myself."
"Promise me that you will send him away," whispered Angel.
"Yes, yes—that I promise. When we return to Marwar, he goes to
England, and we shall never—never—meet again. Oh—never."
"Goes to England?" repeated Angel, incredulously.
"He succeeded to his property some time ago, but has kept the matter
quiet, and remains out in India for——"
"For your sake," interrupted Angel; "I understand. Well, I hope he will
go soon."
Mrs. Gordon shivered involuntarily.
"It is strange—or is it not strange—that your husband has never
noticed how friendly Mr. Lindsay is—with you?"
"No, no; he attributes it all entirely to himself. It would be
impossible for him to realise that I could attract anyone in that way."
"And he is an old mole, grubbing away at the story of the love of
Shireen and Ferhad, and never sees the real story which is enacted
before his eyes."
"Oh, Angel, don't say such things, my dear—they hurt—they hurt."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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