_Wanting to help!_ Doubt not, that was the body blow. "No--no! And I--I
really don't take it in--even now," he was saying, struggling
desperately for his mask. "I--ah--I'd given up all--idea, you see! Why,
I understood that was _all off_! I--"
"Of _course_--so had I! That's what makes it such a wonderful bolt from
the blue! There was another candidate, you see--a college president,
imagine!--and Dr. Ames says he felt he ought to be very discreet and
reticent till it was all settled. But I was elected unanimously, and
must be in New York to take charge of the office on March 1st...."
It was the complete collapse of his triumph and his hope: he would not
be going to the newspaper-offices now. But that sentence, that concrete
date, took the whole matter deeper still. Charles Garrott took a firmer
grip on Mrs. Herman's little table. Now his voice came firmer, too:--
"The first woman secretary they ever had!... Why--it's _immense_!"
In the ensuing dialogue, in which, for pride's sake, he sought to strike
just the right felicitatory note, there was an instant when the
possibility flashed upon him that the stunning event was itself but the
unimagined by-product of the write-ups. The directors had decided not to
give the distinguished post to an obscure provincial teacher, when all
of a sudden his great broadside of fame for Mary had come roaring in
among them. The thought, in this moment of utter frustration, seemed
actually welcome to him. But it had hardly fluttered before Mary struck
it dead, in the most incidental manner: incidental--since, to be just,
she, having no knowledge whatever of his secret plans, could hardly
guess what annihilation she was dealing out to them. It developed, in
short, that her election, though held back a few days to be ratified by
the trustees of the League's endowment fund, had actually taken place on
December 27th. And it was too readily recalled that the first of the
write-ups had not appeared till the following day.
"Yes--yes!... Fine holiday, thank you!--fine! But of course--no triumphs
like this to report!..."
"Well!--I mustn't keep you now, of course!" said the victorious voice.
"I'm looking forward to seeing you ..."
No, it was sufficiently clear that he had but labored to heap coals in
Newcastle. It was just the case of the old write-up, last year; only now
a thousand times worse. Often before, this desire in him to help, this
spontaneous protecting instinct which seemed to be always flowing out
here, had been rebuffed and defeated. But this time, his defeat seemed
to be final. And, hanging up the receiver at last, the young man sat
silent with the feeling that something valuable and important had
suddenly departed from his life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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