For he, of course, had never thought--like the author of "Marna" for
example--that passionate love was the only sort of love worth
mentioning. In that narrow sense, in her sufficiently cheap faculty for
stirring the senses of men, it was clear that woman, whatever she did or
left undone, would always remain "lovable." But as to love in broad and
human terms--well (to keep the subject wholly impersonal); could any one
in his senses call _Marna_ a lovable being? No, her creator, in his
determination to show how strong and "free" she was, had quite
unconsciously made her a harsh and vain self-worshiper, revolting to
decent persons. Had he, as we might say, thus inadvertently given the
whole thing away? Was it finally true that a woman could not claim and
lead her Own Life, except at a heavy price--paid down in her best
treasure? Was the ruthless Career-Maker but the logical other-form of
the waiting, the too pursuing, Maker of Homes?
From his drawer, Charles presently pulled out the former exercise-book
which had enjoyed the great rise in the world. In this book, he had
written no sentence since his remembered Notes on Flora Trevenna. Now he
set down with a firm hand:--
What is called the Woman's Movement is seen, in the last
analysis, to be only every woman's struggle between two
irreconcilable impulses in her own nature.
Having written that sentence, the young man stared at it long. To him it
was like a bright beam of light, turned upon the roots of his peculiar
problem. For if these two impulses were in truth irreconcilable, why
need he go on struggling to reconcile them in a heroine he could
unreservedly admire?
XVI
With the sun of a new noon, with the recurring need of obtaining
sustenance from one's environment, there came again the more practical
problems of this weary world.
At ten minutes past one on this day, Tuesday, Charles went slipping from
the house of the little Deming boys to that of the old lady who was
studying French. She lived, luckily, but three doors away. She was a
very lively old lady, and possessed her tutor's high regard. But that
she might represent help to him, that she could personify the tutelary
god of Bachelors rushing at last to his aid, had simply never crossed
his mind.
The old lady's regular lesson-hour was, of course, two-thirty o'clock.
But, as it happened, she had had her last instruction in the French
language for some time to come, it having popped into her head, and that
of the old gentleman her husband, to go to Palm Beach for a three weeks'
vacation. Hence her tutor's presence in her drawing-room at this
unwonted hour seemed to be due to mere chance (though who knows?). In
short, as he saw it, he had merely "stopped by" to deliver a list of
irregular verbs, which the old lady was to master completely while at
the Beach.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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