Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Single mothers -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Eddie had been so delighted with the change in her. She hadn’t seen much
of him since his return at the end of the war, but all his hours with
her had been a perpetual service of praise. He had hurried to
her his first free minute; he had wanted to give her anything,
everything--extravagantly and ridiculously. He had been tactful and
kindly with the rather contemptuous Mrs. Kennedy. He had been to see
Devery and Sillon, and had won their hearts. He had been quite perfect.
And all these thoughts were merely flitting across her mind like birds
flying above a frozen pond. Under the ice were horrors beyond naming.
She did her utmost to ignore them, to think of those things as dead and
buried and forever gone from her world; but she could not.
All that night she had been dreaming of her drowned lover, floating,
horribly, in the sea; and with him, directly beside him, her
baby--_their_ baby--its little body extended like his, its tiny white
face upturned. And she and Eddie sat on the deck of a ship, she facing
these two corpses which came smoothly along behind them, and she was
using all her wit, all her charm, to keep Eddie from turning his head
and seeing them.
The dream haunted her and mingled with her wretched thoughts. For now
that she was within a stone’s throw of her goal, now that the cup was in
her hand, to be raised to her lips, she was filled with a desperate
impatience, a terrible fever of haste and fear. Her hands were burning,
her knees weak and trembling.
"Oh, just this one more hour!" she murmured. "If only, only, _only_
nothing will happen!"
She looked past the moment, to the haven of happy years beyond, as a man
sailing a perilous channel might look ahead to the wide and quiet sea
beyond.
"Something will happen!" she told herself. "At the last minute some one
will tell him--scream it out in the church--stop the wedding. Oh, God!
Just help me now! Let me get safely married to Eddie, and I’ll try my
best to be good!"
She was conscious of being a little too pallid, too worn, and she rubbed
on her smooth cheeks a little rouge. It looked horrible, and she wiped
it off frantically.
"No! It must be my eyes that look so queer. I wonder if Eddie’ll notice,
and think I look queer! It might make him suspicious."
She forced herself to smile.
"Of course I’m nervous," she said. "Every one is. It’s nothing--nothing
at all!"
She suppressed a scream when the door-bell rang. She listened, behind
her half-closed door, until she heard Eddie’s voice talking quite in his
usual tone to her mother. No one called her. Nothing had happened.
She stood still, in a sort of daze, getting no further forward in her
dressing, until her mother entered the room.
"He’s going to take me down and put me in the auto," said Mrs. Kennedy.
"Then he’s coming back after you. You’d better hurry. It’s late, and I
don’t see any use for you to be keeping all those people waiting. That’s
not a very good way to begin."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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