Country life -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
"When Robbie died we seemed to sink into a black pit of horror. We
didn't want to see anyone. We could hardly look at the letters that
poured in; their lamentations seemed to add to our burden. Only Miss
Barbara's was any use, and all she said was, 'I have prayed for you
that your faith fail not.'"
"It seemed so _unfair_," Ann said slowly. "In a shop one day the woman
who was serving me asked so kindly for you, and wanted to know how you
were bearing up. Then she said suddenly: 'When thae awfu' nice folk
dee div ye no juist fair feel that ye could rebel?' Rebel! Poor
helpless mortals that we are!"
Mrs. Douglas shook her head. "If there is one lesson I have learned it
is the folly of kicking against the pricks. To be bitter and resentful
multiplies the grief a thousandfold. There is nothing for it but
submission. Shall we receive good at the hand of the Lord and not
receive evil? There is an odd text that strikes me every time I come
to it: '_And David was comforted concerning Ammon because he was
dead_.' I don't know what it means, perhaps that Ammon fought with
David so David was glad he was dead, but it always has a special
meaning for me. We had to come to it, Ann, you and I, when we tramped
those long walks by Tweedside rather than sit at home and face callers
and sympathy. It was Robbie himself who helped us most. The thought
of him, so brave and gay and gentle, simply _made_ us believe that in a
short time he had fulfilled a long time, and that God had taken him
against that day when He shall make up His jewels. We could only cling
to the fact that God is Love, and that it was to Himself He had taken
the boy who seemed to us so altogether lovely."
Mrs. Douglas took off her spectacles and rubbed them with her
handkerchief, and Ann said:
"Yes, Mother, at moments we felt all that, and were comforted, but
there are so many days when it seems you can't get above the sense of
loss. Those nights when one dreamed he was with us, and wakened.
There's not much doubt about Death's sting.... But what kept me from
going under altogether was the thought of Davie. I tried never to let
him see me with a dull face. All his life the child had dreaded
sadness, and it seemed hard that he should so early become 'acquainted
with grief.' After Robbie's death, when he came into a room the first
thing he did was to glance quickly at our faces to see if we had been
crying, and if we looked at him happily his face cleared. If anybody
mentioned Robbie's name he slipped quietly out of the room. Jim was
the same. I think men are like that. Women can talk and find relief,
but to speak about his grief is the last thing an ordinary man can do.
That's why I was sorrier for the fathers in the war than the
mothers.... I was glad Davie was at college and busy all day. I think
he dreaded coming home that Easter."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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