I fear it is a dangerous one; and, whether my fears originate in
selfishness or in penetration, they must be spoken. Yes, madam, I must
warn you that the passions of Mr. Clifton are, in my opinion, much more
alarming than the resentment of your father.
But they are alarming only to myself. And ought danger to deter me?
Not if the good you design be practicable.
And what is impracticable, where the will is resolved?
Perhaps nothing--But the effort must be great, must be uncommon.
Has he not a mind worthy of such an effort? Would not his powers highly
honour truth and virtue?
They would.
Will not you give me your assistance?
I would, madam, most willingly, would he but permit me. But I am his
antipathy; a something noxious; an evil augury.
You have been particular in your attentions to me.
And must those attentions cease, madam?
They must be moderated; they must be cool, dispassionate, and then they
will not alarm.--I cannot possibly be deceived in supposing it a duty,
an indispensable duty to restore the mind of Clifton to its true
station. If I fail, the fault must be my own. I am but young, yet many
men have addressed me with the commonplace language of admiration,
love, and I know not what; or rather they knew not what; and, except
yourself, Frank, I have not met with one from whom half so much might
be hoped as from Clifton. He is the brother of my bosom friend. Surely,
Frank, it is a worthy task--Join with me!--There is but one thing I
fear. Clifton is haughty and intemperate. Are you a duellist, Frank?
No, madam.
Then you would not fight a duel?
Never, madam, no provocation, not the brand of cowardice itself, shall
ever induce roe to be guilty of such a crime.
Frank!--Oh excellent, noble youth!
Here, Louisa, our conversation abruptly ended. The company had risen
from table, and we heard them in the corridor. I requested him to
retire, and he instantly obeyed.
Oh! Louisa, with what sensations did he leave my mind glowing!--His
conviction equals certainty, _that I act from mistaken principles!--_To
the end of time he shall persist in thinking me his by right!_--Can the
power of language afford words more strong, more positive, more
pointed?--How unjust have I been to my cause!--For surely I cannot be
in an error!--'Tis afflicting, 'tis painful, nay it is almost
terrifying to remember!--_Persist to the end of time?_--Why did I not
think more deeply?--I had a dark kind of dread that I should fail!--It
cannot be the fault of my cause!--Wrong him!--Guilty of injustice to
him!--Surely, surely, I hope not!--What! Become an example to the
feeble and the foolish, for having indulged my passions and neglected
my duties?--I?--His mind had formed a favourite plan, and could I
expect it should be instantly relinquished?--I cannot conceive torment
equal to the idea of doing him wrong! Him?--Again and again I hope not!
I hope not! I hope not!
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