To see my Anna married to strife, wasting her fine powers to reform
habits which, though they may be checked, may perhaps be too deep ever
to be eradicated, to see all her exquisite sensibilities hourly preyed
upon by inefficient attempts to do good, for which instead of praise
and love she might meet neglect, reproach, or perhaps stern insult--Oh!
It is a painful thought! She would not pine; she would not weakly sink
into dejection, and desert her duties, in pity to her own
misfortunes.--No--But still it is an unhappy, nay, it is an abhorred
state.
I am bewildered. One train of reasoning overturns another, and I know
not what to advise. There are times in which these consequences appear
most probable; and there are others in which I say no, it is
impossible! Brutality itself could not be so senseless, so destructive
of its own felicity! Anna St. Ives would win a savage heart! And my
brother evidently has quick and delicate sensations; capable of great
good. But then are they not capable of great harm? Yes: but are they,
would they be capable of harm with her? Would not she command them,
regulate them, harmonize them? Again, and again, I know not.
One thing however let me add. Let me conjure the friend of my bosom not
to suffer herself to be swayed, by the remembrance of that friendship.
Nay, if she do not feel a certainty of success, let me intreat, let me
admonish her to desist, before it be too late; and before further
encouragement shall seem to authorize the presuming Clifton, for
presuming I am convinced he will be, to found claims upon her kindness.
Oh that he were indeed worthy of her! Would that he could but rise to
something like that enviable dignity! And can he not?--Indeed I would
not plead against him; but neither would I be instrumental in rendering
my friend, who is surely born a blessing to the earth, miserable.
I am angry with myself for my own indecision: but in vain; I have no
remedy. I sometimes conclude this indecision ought to act as a warning,
and for that reason I have painted my feelings as they are. If yours
should resemble them, I firmly and loudly say--Anna, desist! If not, I
then have no advice to give. For this I blame myself, but
ineffectually.
Be assured however that, under all circumstances of future life, be
they adverse or prosperous, my best wishes will be with you, and my
heart and soul ever yours.
L. CLIFTON
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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