Habits and prejudices which are sanctioned by the general practice, and
even by numbers who are in many respects eminently wise and virtuous,
are too stubborn to be overcome by the impotent arguments of a young
female; with whom men are much more prone to trifle, toy, and divert
themselves, than to enquire into practical and abstract truth. In the
storm of the passions, a voice so weak would not be heard.
That all these impediments should be removed I begin to believe but
little probable; and, till they are removed, as we are we must remain.
The obstacles to marriage are indeed so numerous that I perceive
calculation to be very much in favour of celibacy: I mean respecting
myself. I ask not riches; but of wealth of mind my expectations by some
would be called extravagant. Yet lower these expectations I cannot; for
that would be to relax in principle.
I ended; and your brother still sat patient and willing to listen, had
I desired to continue. After a short pause, he replied--The profound
attention I have paid, madam, will I hope convince you I have not been
an idle listener. Your words, or at least the substance of them, have
sunk deep in my heart. Your desire that I should remember them scarcely
can equal mine. To me, madam, they are so important that the moment I
return home, confident as I usually am of my memory, I will not trust
it now, but commit them to writing.
What your motives are for this unusual care, or whether you do or do
not feel yourself offended, Mr. Clifton, it is not possible for me to
divine: but, as I think it alike unjust to conceal what I have done or
what I have said, however mistaken my words or actions may have been, I
will spare you the trouble of writing, if you think proper, and send
you a tolerably correct transcript of my thoughts tomorrow morning. I
can easily repeat them, assisted by some memorandums that I have
already made, and by the strength of my recollection and my feelings,
which I think are in no danger of a sudden decay.
You will infinitely oblige me, madam, and I will endeavour to profit by
the favour. My mind is at present as much awake to the subject as
yours--I hope you are not unwilling to converse with me on the topics
on which we may happen to differ?
Unwilling?--Oh no!--It was your unwillingness that led me almost to
despair--But are you in earnest?--Truly and sincerely in earnest?
In earnest, madam: truly and sincerely in earnest.
And will you really reflect, seriously, deeply, on the subject in
question?
As deeply, madam, as you yourself could wish.
Mr. Clifton, your present tone and manner rejoice me!--You half revive
my hopes!--But let me conjure you to be sincere with your own heart.
Examine every thing I have said; every thing; especially what relates
to Frank Henley. All that I have observed of your temper, from first to
last, obliges me thus seriously to warn you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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