I know not whether this predisposition in me was of any advantage to
their argument, though I think it was not; for, so ready was the
solution to every difficulty, I boldly ventured to state objections
which I meant to have kept out of sight, lest I should myself overturn
a system that suited my purpose. I perceived their eagerness, saw there
was no danger that they should stop at trifles even if I should happen
to throw them a bone to pick, and the readiness of each reply raised my
curiosity. I fearlessly drew out my heavy artillery, which they with
ease and safety as fearlessly dismounted. With a breath my strong holds
were all puffed down, like so many houses of cards.
By this however my main business was done more effectually. We came to
it by fair deduction. It was not abruptly introduced; it was major,
minor, and consequent--All individual property is an evil--Marriage
makes woman individual property--Therefore marriage is an evil--Could
there be better logic?
As for his saving clause, that marriage in these times of prejudice and
vice [I have the whole cant by rote, Fairfax.] is a necessary evil,
leave me to do that away. What! Is she not a heroine? And can I not
convince her that to act according to a bad system, when there is a
better, were to descend to the ways of the vulgar? Can I not teach her
how superior she is to the pretty misses who conform to such mistaken
laws? Shall she want the courage and the generosity to set the first
good example? How often have I seen her eyes sparkle, her bosom heave,
and her zeal break forth in virtuous resolutions to encounter any peril
to obtain a worthy purpose! And can there be a more worthy?
Curse upon these qualms of conscience! Never before did I feel any
thing so teazing, so tormenting! And, knowing what I know, remembering
what I never can forget, the slights, injuries, and insults I have
received, how I came to feel them now is to me wholly inconceivable.
She is acting it is true with what she calls the best and purest of
intentions toward me; she believes them to be such; she sometimes
almost obliges me to believe them such myself. She tortures me, by half
constraining me to revere the virtues in favour of which she harangues
so divinely. But shall I like a poor uxorious lackadaisy driveller sit
down satisfied with a divided heart?--I! she not with her own lips,
under her own hand, avowed and signed her contumelious guilt, her
audacious preference of a rival?--A mean, a base, a vulgar rival!--And
after this shall my projects suffer impediment from cheesecurd
compassion?--Shall the querulous voice of conscience arrest my avenging
arm?--No, Fairfax!--It cannot be! Though my heart in its anger could
not accuse her of a single crime beside, that alone, that damning
preference would be all-sufficient!--The furies have no stings that
equal this recollection!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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