Nor is this all. Did that devil that most delights in mischief direct
every concurring circumstance, they could not all and each be more
uniform, more coercive to the one great end. This poor dotterel, Sir
Arthur, is playing fast and loose with me. He has been at his
soundings--He!--Imbecile animal!--Could wish there were not so many
difficulties--Is afraid they cannot be all removed--Has his doubts and
his fears--Twenty thousand pounds is a large sum, and Mrs. Clifton is
very positive--His own affairs much less promising than he
supposed--Then by a declension of hems, hums, and has, he descended
to young Mr. Henley--A very extraordinary young gentleman!--A very
surprising youth!--One made on purpose as it were for plum-cake days,
high festivals, and raree show!--A prodigy!--Not begotten, born or bred
in the dull blind-man's-buff way of simple procreation; but sent us on
a Sunday morning down Jacob's ladder!--Then for obligations to him,
count them who could!--He must first study more arithmetic!--And as
for affection it was a very wayward thing--Not always in people's
power--There was no knowing what was best--The hand might be given and
the heart be wanting--And with respect to whether the opinions of the
world ought to be regarded, good truth he knew not. Marry! The world
was much more ready to blame others than to amend itself: and he had
been almost lately persuaded not to care a fico for the world. But for
his part he was a godly Christian, and wished all for the best. He had
faith, hope, and charity, which were enough for one.
Do not imagine, Fairfax, the poor dotard would have dared to betray
himself thus far, had not I presently perceived his drift and wormed
him of these dismal cogitations of the spirit. He beat about, and
hovered, and fluttered, and chirped mournfully, like the poor
infatuated bird that beholds the serpent's mouth open, into which it is
immediately to drop and be devoured. However, having begun, I was
determined to make him unburden his whole heart. If hereafter he can
possibly find courage to face me, in order to reproach, I have my
lesson ready. 'Out of thy own mouth will I judge thee, sinner.'
Gangrened as my heart is, I still find a satisfaction in this self
convalescence. The lady of mellifluous speech shall suborn no more; no
more shall lull me into beatific slumbers. I have recovered from my
trance, and what I dreamed was celestial I will demonstrate to be mere
woman.
From his own lips I learn that this insolent scoundrel received a visit
from the Count de Beaunoir, which was intended for me: and, out of
tender pity to my body, lest, God 'ild us, it should get a drilling, he
did bestow some trifle of that wit and reason of which he has so great
a superflux upon the Count, thereby to turn aside his wrathful ire.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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