Little did I imagine a moment so full of bitter doubt and distrust as
this could come. Were I but satisfied of the rectitude of my decision,
there are no sensations which I could not stifle, no affections which I
could not calm, nor any wandering wishes but what I could reprove to
silence. But the dread of a flagrant, an odious injustice distracts me,
and I know not where or of whom to seek consolation. Even my Louisa,
the warm friend of my heart, cannot determine in my favour.
Your brother has been with me. He found me in tears, enquired the
cause, and truth demanded a full and unequivocal confidence. I shewed
him what I had been writing. You may well imagine, Louisa, he did not
read it with total apathy. But he suppressed his own feelings with
endeavours to give relief to mine. He argued to shew me my motives had
been highly virtuous. He would not say--[His candour delighted me,
Louisa.]--He would not say there was no ground for my fears: he was
interested and might be partial. He believed indeed I had acted in
strict conformity to the purest principles; but, had I even been
mistaken, the origin of my mistake was so dignified as totally to
deprive the act of all possible turpitude.
He was soothing and kind, gave high encomiums to Frank, took blame to
himself for the error of his former opinions, and, reminding me of the
motives which first induced me to think of him, tenderly asked if I had
any new or recent cause to be weary of my task.
What could I answer? What, but that I was delighted with the rapid
change perceptible in his sentiments, and with the ardour with which
his enquiries were continued?
Frank Henley is by this time at Wenbourne Hill. You will see him. Plead
our cause, Louisa: urge him to remain among us. Condescend even to
enforce my selfish motive, that he would not leave me under the
torturing supposition of having banished him from a country which he
was born to enlighten, reform, and bless!
There is indeed another argument; but I know not whether it ought to be
mentioned. Sir Arthur owns he is in the power of the avaricious
Abimelech, and I believe is in dread of foreclosures that might even
eject him from Wenbourne Hill. This man must have been an early and a
deep adventurer in the trade of usury, or he never could have gained
wealth so great as he appears to have amassed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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