But I consider the whole world as my enemies at this moment; you
perhaps, Fairfax, excepted. I say perhaps, for I do not know how soon
you may turn upon and yelp at me with the rest.
Forgive me, Fairfax. I am all venom, all viper, and cannot forbear to
hiss even at my friend. But let my enemies beware! They shall find I
can sting!--These cursed gnawings of heart will not let me begin my
story.
I told you I was determined to deny the anonymous letter. I have been
very industrious with uncle Fitz-Allen and aunt Wenbourne; and have
been equally careful to titilate the vanity of the coxcomb Edward, who
is highly flattered with the attention I have paid him, and will I am
certain become my warm partisan.
They had all heard the story, but were all ready enough to gape and
swallow my tale; which considering it was wholly invention was not ill
composed. I begin to hate myself, to hate her, to hate the whole world,
for being obliged to submit to such a damned expedient. But I will not
recede. I will have my revenge! Were the devil himself waiting to
devour me I would on; or were he engaged against me, I would over-reach
him!
I concerted my measures, and learning that this lad of mine, who wrote
the letter for me, was down at Wenbourne-Hill, I sent my man to
inveigle him to come to me, at an inn where I purposely stopped, in my
way to Rose-Bank. How durst they suborn my servant?--But--! I will stab
and not curse!
My valet executed his commission, and prevailed on the lad to come;
though with some difficulty, for he is a stubborn dog; and had not the
valet followed my directions, and told him it was to do his old master
a service, he would have been foiled. But I took him up at Paris,
destitute and in some danger of starving, which he has not forgotten.
This Henley however is a greater favourite with him than I am; as I
soon found by his discourse.
I began by sounding him, to try if it were possible to prevail on him
to assert he had written the letter at the instigation of Henley,
instead of me; but I soon found it was in vain, and durst not proceed
to let him see my drift.
I then persuaded him that they had totally mistaken my purpose in
writing the letter; that I had done it with a very friendly design;
that I had myself a very great esteem for Henley, and that I meant
nothing but good to Anna; but that there were some reasons, which I
could not explain to him, that had occasioned me to write the letter.
As my next purpose, after that of making him an evidence in my favour,
was to send him entirely out of the way, if I failed in the first
attempt, I began to remind him of the condition in which I had found
him in Paris, which he was ready enough to acknowledge, and seemed
indeed afraid of acting ungratefully. I prompted and strengthened his
fears, and at last told him that, since I found he was a good lad and
meant well, though he was mistaken and had done me an injury, I would
give him an opportunity of shewing his gratitude.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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