Country life -- Fiction; Vicars, Parochial -- England -- Fiction
“Suppose,” I said, “that nobody has found the truth, is that sufficient
ground for saying that nobody ever will find it? or that there is no
such thing as truth to be found? Are the ages so nearly done that no
chance yet remains? Surely if God has made us to desire the truth, He
has got some truth to cast into the gulf of that desire. Shall God
create hunger and no food? But possibly a man may be looking the wrong
way for it. You may be using the microscope, when you ought to open
both eyes and lift up your head. Or a man may be finding some truth
which is feeding his soul, when he does not think he is finding any.
You know the Fairy Queen. Think how long the Redcross Knight travelled
with the Lady Truth—Una, you know—without learning to believe in her;
and how much longer still without ever seeing her face. For my part,
may God give me strength to follow till I die. Only I will venture to
say this, that it is not by any agony of the intellect that I expect to
discover her.”
Mr Stoddart sat drumming silently with his fingers, a half-smile on his
face, and his eyes raised at an angle of forty-five degrees. I felt
that the enthusiasm with which I had spoken was thrown away upon him.
But I was not going to be ashamed therefore. I would put some faith in
his best nature.
“But does not,” he said, gently lowering his eyes upon mine after a
moment’s pause—“does not your choice of a profession imply that you
have not to give chase to a fleeting phantom? Do you not profess to
have, and hold, and therefore teach the truth?”
“I profess only to have caught glimpses of her white garments,—those, I
mean, of the abstract truth of which you speak. But I have seen that
which is eternally beyond her: the ideal in the real, the living truth,
not the truth that I can THINK, but the truth that thinks itself, that
thinks me, that God has thought, yea, that God is, the truth BEING true
to itself and to God and to man—Christ Jesus, my Lord, who knows, and
feels, and does the truth. I have seen Him, and I am both content and
unsatisfied. For in Him are hid all the treasures of wisdom and
knowledge. Thomas a Kempis says: ‘Cui aeternum Verbum loquitur, ille a
multis opinionibus expeditur.’” (He to whom the eternal Word speaks, is
set free from a press of opinions.)
I rose, and held out my hand to Mr Stoddart. He rose likewise, and took
it kindly, conducted me to the room below, and ringing the bell,
committed me to the care of the butler.
As I approached the gate, I met Jane Rogers coming back from the
village. I stopped and spoke to her. Her eyes were very red.
“Nothing amiss at home, Jane?” I said.
“No, sir, thank you,” answered Jane, and burst out crying.
“What is the matter, then? Is your——”
“Nothing’s the matter with nobody, sir.”
“Something is the matter with you.”
“Yes, sir. But I’m quite well.”
“I don’t want to pry into your affairs; but if you think I can be of
any use to you, mind you come to me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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