Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Older women -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Villages -- England -- Fiction
“If _you_ had married--afterwards, I mean,” said Madge hesitatingly,
“wouldn’t you have told your husband?”
“There was no question of my marriage,” answered Anne rather painfully.
“But if your circumstances were mine,” she added after a moment, “I
should act as I advise you to act.”
Madge’s grasp on her hand tightened, but she did not speak.
“Go back and be a good wife to him,” Anne went on. “My dear,” she said
sadly, “you don’t know your blessings. You have married a man with a
faithful steadfast nature. His love will never fail you, and in that,
thousands of women might envy you. All the material for happiness is
within your reach. Happiness for the lack of which many women starve
all their days. It never comes to them. It’s never offered. And if they
can’t bear to be utterly without the joy of love, before the earth
covers them, they have to take it at a great price.”
Her smile brought the tears again to Madge’s eyes.
“Such a price, my dear little Madge, as I’m glad you know nothing
about.”
“Dear Miss Page!” she whispered. A moment’s half-awed revelation came
to her of all that her friend’s words implied. In the light of it, her
own fears and regrets, her whole mental attitude towards the past,
later as well as immediate, seemed incredibly petty, mean, and trivial.
She was ashamed with a nobler less selfish shame than she had ever
experienced.
Her cheeks burnt, and her tears ceased to flow.
“Oh! I’ve been a beast!” she cried involuntarily. “I’ve always been so
selfish and hateful to Harry. I’ve taken everything as my right. I’ve
never thought of any one but myself. I’ve never thought of the lives of
other women. You are right. It would only be one more selfishness to
tell him. I won’t. I’ll love him instead.”
“Do that, my dear, and you’ll make him the happiest of men,” returned
Anne simply. “And don’t refuse him children, Madge,” she added softly.
“You owe him that. Besides, you’re refusing the greatest happiness
for yourself. The blessing that women--women like me, can never have.
That’s part of the price, you see. Not the least part of the price,”
she added as though to herself.
She rose, and Madge stood up too, still holding her hand.
The firelight fell on Anne’s face, and the younger woman looked at
her as though she had never seen her before,--with a tender surprised
admiration.
“You are so beautiful!” she exclaimed suddenly.
The first smile Anne had seen came to her lips.
“I shall pray that my first baby may have eyes just like yours,” she
said, almost gaily. “And hair like your lovely hair--when she’s a
little older.”
Anne laughed. “It used to be brown. It went white very quickly--in
three months.”
As she glanced into the mirror above the fireplace, she thought
suddenly of François’s portrait with its mass of soft fair hair,
_couleur de miel_; _couleur de poussière dorée_. She remembered the
epithets of the painters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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