Wilfred laughed, and felt uneasy. What had she seen? Was his face thus
easily to be read in the afternoon sunshine of the Avenue? He made haste
to give Jessie a humorous account of the boarding-house in the country
that he had discovered for himself, and could not recommend. Jessie
punctuated the story with scornful little snorts of laughter, shooting
glances of her bright eyes into his face, that fairly snapped with some
feeling mysterious to Wilfred.
Arriving before the house where she was expected, they paused at the
foot of the steps. Said Wilfred, concluding his story:
“Above all, avoid a high-brow boarding-house. Intellectual table-talk is
no compensation for watery hash.”
At that Jessie exploded. It was not a loud explosion, but it had force.
“You make me sick, Wilfred! Does that reach you? I’d like to smack your
grinning face . . . !”
“Why . . . go ahead!” said Wilfred, astonished, but grinning still.
“Don’t speak to me! Or you’ll make me say something I’ll regret! You’re
a fool, do you hear? All men are fools, and you’re the greatest! Oh, I’d
like to take you down a peg! I’d like to do something that would really
_hurt_ you! But you’ve got no feelings! You’re just a conceited grinner!
Stand there and laugh at me, do! Your mouth’s too big; why stretch it
wider? Oh, you’re such a fool it’s past all bearing!”
And with that, she scampered up the steps without a backward look.
Wilfred walked home thoughtfully. He was not in the least angered at
Jessie, for her tirade had touched no sore spot. There had been
something beautiful in it; a human who could let all fly like that. Oh,
Jessie was as sound as an apple! He supposed that her scorn would do him
good; there was no tinge of contempt in it. But what on earth was biting
her? He was obliged to reject the imputation of jealousy. She had
rejoiced in showing him that he had no power over _her_. He carefully
went over her words, but without obtaining any clue. Her speech had the
quality of pure vituperation, which bears no relation to the thing at
issue. “Fool” was simply a generic term for one who utterly disgusted
you.
Then a light began to break over Wilfred, and he became more thoughtful
still. How strange if it should be _that_! he thought. . . . He slipped
into a dream.
XI
When in the course of time, Frances Mary’s door was opened to Wilfred,
he experienced a disagreeable let-down. She was quite unchanged; just as
good-looking; just as comradely. It was an offense in his eyes now. It
might as well have been Stanny or Jasper; there was no thrill in it.
What a fool he had been to let himself imagine things! . . . Why was he
unable to fall in love with Frances Mary? It was because there was no
trace of sex-consciousness in her to arouse a like feeling in him. In
other words it was her finest quality which put him off. Same old
vicious circle!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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