She quickly regained her equanimity. “Not bad as far as it goes,” she
said. “But you haven’t touched on the worst things.”
Her quiet bitterness struck a little fear into Wilfred’s breast. _Was_
there an unsuspected worst in Frances Mary? Oh, well, he was committed
now; no choice but to struggle on. “You have one quality that I hold to
through all,” he said; “your disinterestedness. The finest quality of
all!”
Her smile became still more remote. “Oh, it’s easy to be disinterested
about things that don’t touch you too closely,” she said.
This was a facer for Wilfred. He strove not to show it. “I’ll take my
chance of your soundness,” he said.
She shook her head. “Passion, preposterous as it is, is the only
justification.”
“I could love you—if you gave me a chance,” he said sullenly.
Frances Mary laughed suddenly and merrily.
“I know I’m ridiculous,” he said blushing crimson; “but I mean to see it
through. It’s all got to come out, absurdities and all.”
“Why marry at all?” she asked.
“I want you.”
She looked at him.
“Well . . . need you.”
“As a sort of antidote to passion, I take it,” said Frances Mary softly.
All the kindness had suddenly gone out, leaving her soft face pinched
and awry.
Wilfred was stung beyond endurance. “Yes!” he cried, jumping up. “An
antidote to passion! I’ve seen it and what it ends in. Am I criminal or
foolish to dream of something better? I looked on you as a woman above
prejudice. It’s easy enough to make a joke of me because I’m not playing
the old false game with you. You’ve got everything on your side, the
whole weight of the ages! But I won’t be so easily shut up now; my
foolishness has taught me something. There’s something to be said for my
way, though I’m alone in it. It’s my real self I’m offering you; though
I sound like a fool.”
She had risen too, and walked away to a table between the windows where
she stood with her back turned. “I’m sorry, Wilfred,” she said in a
muffled voice. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
When she apologized, it took all the fire out of him. “It doesn’t
matter,” he said flatly.
Presently, she turned around; but, the light being behind her, he could
not see her face clearly. “Your position is sound,” she said, “and you
have stated it better than you think. . . . Still, what you ask is
impossible. For two reasons; first, I am not the woman you think I am;
second, I must think of myself a little.”
The cold voice completed Wilfred’s demoralization. “I only admit the
second reason,” he said gloomily. “Of course you must think of yourself.
I am seeking _my_ good.”
“Why should I marry you?”
“If you put it to me, the Lord knows!”
“I do not think you are the finest man I ever knew. In fact I have no
illusions about you.”
“So much the better,” he mumbled.
“Then why? why?”
“Well, I thought. . . .”
“You thought I loved you?” she asked quickly.
“Not so far as that. I thought perhaps you might come to. There was
sympathy. . . .”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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