Wilfred went towards the bed like an automaton. He looked at her. After
all there was nothing astounding in her unveiling. It was just a human
body, the complement to his own; one was instinctively familiar with it.
He recognized dispassionately that it was a generous, comely woman’s
body, without blemish. He was reminded of fruitfulness; it was a body
fit for Ceres, for Eve. What lovely, dimpling hollows! what a magical
texture in woman’s skin!—But it didn’t seem to matter. What mattered
terribly, and made him tremble, was the strangeness of the soul that
inhabited this woman’s body, sending him such queer intimations through
her eyes, all the while her tongue was so glib and matter-of-fact. Their
bodies might press together as one, but their souls were sundered by an
immensity of space. . . . How piteous!
“What you look at me like that for, fella?”
* * * * *
Once more Wilfred stood in front of the bureau with one hand upon it,
his head lowered. Angela was busy in the corner behind him. He did not
feel that anything of moment had happened to him. He was not
changed. . . . Was _that_ all? . . . But, no! He had failed; that’s what
it meant. He was not human enough to take fire and burn in the beautiful
human way. He was just a sort of figment of a man; an hallucination. He
fulfilled himself only in imagination. Faced with reality, he dissolved.
A dreadful fear gripped him. It was like falling through space. His hand
tightened hard on the edge of the bureau, as if to convince himself that
here was a real flesh and blood hand gripping palpable matter. . . . The
edge of the bureau was blackened by many cigarette burns. The men who
had laid those cigarettes down, _their_ bodies had burned!
The girl came, and passed an arm around his shoulders. “You’re a
wonderful fella!” she murmured. “I like you.”
Oh, yes! thought Wilfred. Flattery is a part of her business.
On the hand that lay on the bureau, Wilfred sported an antique ring of
no great value. She turned it round on his finger. “Give it to me for a
keepsake, fella,” she whispered cajolingly.
Wilfred thought: She knows that normal men have a moment of tenderness
now. But not me. I feel nothing. He shook his head, and drew away from
her.
“Don’t you like me?”
“You’re all right!” said Wilfred.
She tried to wheedle more money out of him. Wilfred shook his head.
“Well, will you come to see me again?”
“Sure!” said Wilfred.
She slipped a card into his hand. “That’s my home address. It’s nicer
there than these Raines Law joints. If you come in the afternoon I can
give you more time. . . .”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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