Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
A little tremulous, under her outward elegant calm, Rosie mounted the
stairs. Twenty-five steps to the first floor—one flight of thirteen,
which was rather disagreeably ominous, and one of twelve. Then two
flights of eleven, and she was on the second landing, facing a front
door, a bell-push like a round eye, a brass name-plate. For a great lady
thoroughly accustomed to this sort of thing, she felt her heart beating
rather unpleasantly fast. It was those stairs, no doubt. She halted a
moment, took two deep breaths, then pushed the bell.
The door was opened by an aged servant of the most forbiddingly
respectable appearance.
“Mr. Mercaptan at home?”
The person at the door burst at once into a long, rambling, angry
complaint, but precisely about what Rosie could not for certain make
out. Mr. Mercaptan had left orders, she gathered, that he wasn’t to be
disturbed. But some one had come and disturbed him, “fairly shoved his
way in, so rude and inconsiderate,” all the same. And now he’d been once
disturbed, she didn’t see why he shouldn’t be disturbed again. But she
didn’t know what things were coming to if people fairly shoved their way
in like that. Bolshevism, she called it.
Rosie murmured her sympathies, and was admitted into a dark hall. Still
querulously denouncing the Bolsheviks who came shoving in, the person
led the way down a corridor and, throwing open a door, announced, in a
tone of grievance: “A lady to see you, Master Paster”—for Mrs. Goldie
was an old family retainer, and one of the few who knew the Secret of
Mr. Mercaptan’s Christian name, one of the fewer still who were
privileged to employ it. Then, as soon as Rosie had stepped across the
threshold, she cut off her retreat with a bang and went off, muttering
all the time, towards her kitchen.
It certainly wasn’t a garret. Half a glance, the first whiff of
pot-pourri, the feel of the carpet beneath her feet, had been enough to
prove that. But it was not the room which occupied Rosie’s attention, it
was its occupants. One of them, thin, sharp-featured and, in Rosie’s
very young eyes, quite old, was standing with an elbow on the
mantelpiece. The other, sleeker and more genial in appearance, was
sitting in front of a writing-desk near the window. And neither of
them—Rosie glanced desperately from one to the other, hoping vainly that
she might have overlooked a blond beard—neither of them was Toto.
The sleek man at the writing-desk got up, advanced to meet her.
“An unexpected pleasure,” he said, in a voice that alternately boomed
and fluted. “_Too_ delightful! But to what do I owe——? _Who_, may I
ask——?”
He had held out his hand; automatically Rosie proffered hers. The sleek
man shook it with cordiality, almost with tenderness.
“I ... I think I must have made a mistake,” she said. “Mr.
Mercaptan...?”
The sleek man smiled. “I am Mr. Mercaptan.”
“You live on the second floor?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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