Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
Shearwater sat on his stationary bicycle, pedalling unceasingly like a
man in a nightmare. The pedals were geared to a little wheel under the
saddle and the rim of the wheel rubbed, as it revolved against a brake,
carefully adjusted to make the work of the pedaller hard, but not
impossibly hard. From a pipe which came up through the floor issued a
little jet of water which played on the brake and kept it cool. But no
jet of water played on Shearwater. It was his business to get hot. He
did get hot.
From time to time his dog-faced young friend, Lancing, came and looked
through the window of the experimenting chamber to see how he was
getting on. Inside that little wooden house, which might have reminded
Lancing, if he had had a literary turn of mind, of the Box in which
Gulliver left Brobdingnag, the scenes of intimate life were the same
every time he looked in. Shearwater was always at his post on the saddle
of the nightmare bicycle, pedalling, pedalling. The water trickled over
the brake. And Shearwater sweated. Great drops of sweat came oozing out
from under his hair, ran down over his forehead, hung beaded on his
eyebrows, ran into his eyes, down his nose, along his cheeks, fell like
raindrops. His thick bull-neck was wet; his whole naked body, his arms
and legs streamed and shone. The sweat poured off him and was caught as
it rained down in a waterproof sheet, to trickle down its sloping folds
into a large glass receptacle which stood under a hole in the centre of
the sheet at the focal point where all its slopes converged. The
automatically controlled heating apparatus in the basement kept the
temperature in the box high and steady. Peering through the damp-dimmed
panes of the window. Lancing noticed with satisfaction that the mercury
stood unchangingly at twenty-seven point five Centigrade. The
ventilators at the side and top of the box were open; Shearwater had air
enough. Another time, Lancing reflected, they’d make the box air-tight
and see the effect of a little carbon dioxide poisoning on top of
excessive sweating. It might be very interesting, but to-day they were
concerned with sweating only. After seeing that the thermometer was
steady, that the ventilators were properly open, the water was still
trickling over the brake, Lancing would tap at the window. And
Shearwater, who kept his eyes fixed straight before him, as he pedalled
slowly and unremittingly along his nightmare road, would turn his head
at the sound.
“All right?” Lancing’s lips moved and his eyebrows went up inquiringly.
Shearwater would nod his big, round head, and the sweatdrops, suspended
on his eyebrows and his moustache, would fall like little liquid fruits
shaken suddenly by the wind.
“Good,” and Lancing would go back to his thick German book under the
reading-lamp at the other end of the laboratory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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