Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
She opened a door; they were in her very pink room. Grave in its solemn
and subtly harmonious beauty, the picture hung over the mantelpiece,
hung there, among the photographs of the little friends of her own age,
like some strange object from another world. From within that chipped
gilt frame all the beauty, all the grandeur of religion looked darkly
out upon the pink room. The little friends of her own age, all
deliciously nubile, sweetly smiled, turned up their eyes, clasped
Persian cats or stood jauntily, feet apart, hand in the breeches pocket
of the land-girl’s uniform; the pink roses on the wallpaper, the pink
and white curtains, the pink bed, the strawberry-coloured carpet, filled
all the air with the rosy reflections of nakedness and life.
And utterly remote, absorbed in their grave, solemn ecstasy, the robed
and mitred priest held out, the dying saint yearningly received, the
body of the Son of God. The ministrants looked gravely on, the little
angels looped in the air above a gravely triumphant festoon, the lion
slept at the saint’s feet, and through the arch beyond, the eye
travelled out over a quiet country of dark trees and hills.
“There it is,” she waved towards the mantelpiece.
But Gumbril had taken it all in long ago. “You see what I mean by the
five-shilling piece.” And stepping up to the picture, he pointed to the
round bright wafer which the priest holds in his hand and whose averted
disk is like the essential sun at the centre of the picture’s harmonious
universe. “Those were the days of five-shilling pieces,” he went on.
“You’re probably too young to remember those large, lovely things. They
came my way occasionally, and consecrated wafers didn’t. So you can
understand how much the picture puzzled me. A bishop giving a naked old
man five shillings in a church, with angels fluttering overhead, and a
lion sleeping in the foreground. It was obscure, it was horribly
obscure.” He turned away from the picture and confronted his hostess,
who was standing a little way behind him smiling enigmatically and
invitingly.
“Obscure,” he repeated. “But so is everything. So is life in general.
And you,” he stepped towards her, “you in particular.”
“Am I?” she lifted her limpid eyes at him. Oh, how her heart was
beating, how hard it was to be the fastidious lady, calmly satisfying
her caprice. How difficult it was to be accustomed to this sort of
thing. What was going to happen next?
What happened next was that the Complete Man came still closer, put his
arms round her, as though he were inviting her to the fox-trot, and
began kissing her with a startling violence. His beard tickled her neck;
shivering a little, she brought down the magnolia petals across her
eyes. The Complete Man lifted her up, walked across the room carrying
the fastidious lady in his arms and deposited her on the rosy catafalque
of the bed. Lying there with her eyes shut, she did her best to pretend
she was dead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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