Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
Mr. Boldero laughed. “Do you suppose that would trouble me if I wanted
to be unscrupulous? I’d just take the idea and manufacture the article.
You’d bring an action. I’d have it defended with all the professional
erudition that could be brought. You’d find yourself let in for a case
that might cost thousands. And how would you pay for it? You’d be forced
to come to an agreement out of court, Mr. Gumbril. That’s what you’d
have to do. And a damned bad agreement it would be for you, I can tell
you.” Mr. Boldero laughed very cheerfully at the thought of the badness
of this agreement. “But don’t be alarmed,” he said. “I shan’t do it, you
know.”
Gumbril was not wholly reassured. Tactfully, he tried to find out what
terms Mr. Boldero was prepared to offer. Mr. Boldero was nebulously
vague.
They met again in Gumbril’s rooms. The contemporary drawings on the
walls reminded Mr. Boldero that he was now an art expert. He told
Gumbril all about it—in Gumbril’s own words. Every now and then, it was
true, Mr. Boldero made a little slip. Bacosso, for example, remained
unshakably Bacosso. But on the whole the performance was most
impressive. It made Gumbril feel very uncomfortable, however, while it
lasted. For he recognized in this characteristic of Mr. Boldero a
horrible caricature of himself. He too was an assimilator; more
discriminating, no doubt, more tactful, knowing better than Mr. Boldero
how to turn the assimilated experience into something new and truly his
own; but still a caterpillar, definitely a caterpillar. He began
studying Mr. Boldero with a close and disgustful attention, as one might
pore over some repulsive _memento mori_.
It was a relief when Mr. Boldero stopped talking art and consented to
get down to business. Gumbril was wearing for the occasion the sample
pair of Small-Clothes which Mr. Bojanus had made for him. For Mr.
Boldero’s benefit he put them, so to speak, through their paces. He
allowed himself to drop with a bump on to the floor—arriving there
bruiseless and unjarred. He sat in complete comfort for minutes at a
stretch on the edge of the ornamental iron fender. In the intervals he
paraded up and down before Mr. Boldero like a mannequin. “A trifle
bulgy,” said Mr. Boldero. “But still....” He was, taking it all round,
favourably impressed. It was time, he said, to begin thinking of
details. They would have to begin by making experiments with the
bladders to discover a model combining, as Mr. Boldero put it, ‘maximum
efficiency with minimum bulge.’ When they had found the right thing,
they would have it made in suitable quantities by any good rubber firm.
As for the trousers themselves, they could rely for those on sweated
female labour in the East End. “Cheap and good,” said Mr. Boldero.
“It sounds ideal,” said Gumbril.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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