Marcel wrote to his wife that he had no time for dinner or supper, and
that she need not expect him until ten or eleven o'clock at night. He
returned to the convent. Julie had exhausted all her vitality in tears.
She had risen again, she had bathed her pale face, streaked with the
fire of tears, in cold water. She was calm, downcast, and resembled a
living corpse. She revived a little when she learned that Marcel had
succeeded in deceiving Julien, and in inducing him to accept, without
undue suspicion, the comparative affluence which Monsieur Antoine
bestowed on his mother and him. She wrote a note to Monsieur Antoine at
Marcel's dictation, pledging herself never to see Julien again during
her life, on condition that Julien should never be deprived of the house
at Sèvres or the annuity. She would not make a similar stipulation
concerning her own fortune, and Marcel dared not speak to her as yet of
accepting Monsieur Antoine's discharge of her debts. She made no
complaint; she was thoroughly exhausted, and Marcel, as he shook hands
with her, felt that she was feverish. He persuaded her to see Sister
Sainte-Juste, his cousin, and he urged the sister to have someone sleep
in the next room. He did not go away until he had, with the solicitude
of a father, seen everything arranged as he wished.
Julie passed a quiet night; hers was not one of those obstinate natures
which struggle for a long time. Her conscience told her that she had
done her duty, and the first suffering was so sudden and violent that
she soon yielded to exhaustion and slept. The next morning she thanked
the nun who had passed the night with her, and asked to be left alone.
She dressed herself and arranged her hair, and, realizing that she was
very awkward and unskilful in waiting on herself, she determined to
conquer her habits, to put her room to rights and make her bed, arrange
her clothes, and establish herself in that poor cell as if she were to
pass her life there. She did all this mechanically, without effort and
without reflection. When it was done, she sat down, clasped her hands
about her knee, and looked out through the open window but saw nothing,
listened to the convent bells but heard nothing, and did not dare think
of eating, although she had taken nothing for twenty-four hours. If
lightning had struck in the middle of her room it would not have
startled her.
About noon, Sister Sainte-Juste found her in this state of listless
contemplation, which she mistook for a beatific reverie. Some broken
hearts are still so sweet and gentle that one does not suspect their
suffering; but the sister had noticed, as she passed through the room
used as an antechamber and dining-room, that the breakfast brought by
the servant had grown cold untouched.
"Did you forget to eat?" she asked Julie.
"No, sister," replied the poor unhappy creature, who did not choose to
allow herself to be pitied, "I was waiting for my appetite to come."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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