All remembrance of late events now entirely vanished from his mind.
Numerian, Vetranio, Antonina, they were all forgotten in this memorable
advent of the Goths! His slavery in the mines, his last visit to
Alexandria, his earlier wanderings--even these, so present to his
memory until the morning of the siege, were swept from its very surface
now. Age, solitude, infirmity--hitherto the mournful sensations which
were proofs to him that he still continued to exist--suddenly vanished
from his perceptions, as things that were not; and now at length he
forgot that he was an outcast, and remembered triumphantly that he was
still a priest. He felt animated by the same hopes, elevated by the
same aspirations, as in those early days when he had harangued the
wavering Pagans in the Temple, and first plotted the overthrow of the
Christian Church.
It was a terrible and warning proof of the omnipotent influence that a
single idea may exercise over a whole life, to see that old man
wandering among the crowds around him, still enslaved, after years of
suffering and solitude, degradation, and crime, by the same ruling
ambition, which had crushed the promise of his early youth! It was an
awful testimony to the eternal and mysterious nature of thought, to
behold that wasted and weakened frame; and then to observe how the
unassailable mind within still swayed the wreck of body yet left to
it--how faithfully the last exhausted resources of failing vigour
rallied into action at its fierce command--how quickly, at its mocking
voice, the sunken eye lightened again with a gleam of hope, and the
pale, thin lips parted mechanically with an exulting smile!
The hours passed, but he still walked on--whither or among whom he
neither knew nor cared. No remorse touched his heart for the
destruction that he had wreaked on the Christian who had sheltered him;
no terror appalled his soul at the contemplation of the miseries that
he believed to be in preparation for the city from the enemy at its
gates. The end that had hallowed to him the long series of his former
offences and former sufferings, now obliterated iniquities just passed,
and stripped of all their horrors, atrocities immediately to come.
The Goths might be destroyers to others, but they were benefactors to
him; for they were harbingers of the ruin which would be the material
of his reform, and the source of his triumph. It never entered his
imagination that, as an inhabitant of Rome, he shared the approaching
perils of the citizens, and in the moment of the assault might share
their doom. He beheld only the new and gorgeous prospect that war and
rapine were opening before him. He thought only of the time that must
elapse ere his new efforts could be commenced--of the orders of the
people among whom he should successively make his voice heard--of the
temples which he should select for restoration--of the quarter of Rome
which should first be chosen for the reception of his daring reform.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account