Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Monks -- Fiction; Portugal -- History -- 1826-1853 -- Fiction; Wine and wine making -- Fiction
Isabel sprang up and faced him. Their eyes were less than a yard
apart. Antonio's continued silence was sufficient answer; but she
fought fiercely against the truth. Clasping her white hands
desperately against her breast, she challenged him in short, panting
sentences.
"This is horrible, too horrible," she began, "I tell you it is too
horrible. You can't, you daren't look me in the eyes and say you
don't love me!" And when he still delayed to speak she raised her
voice and commanded sharply: "Answer!"
He looked her in the eyes with immeasurable sadness, and answered:
"I do not love you in the way you mean."
"The way I mean? What is the way I mean? Either you love me or you
don't. There are no two ways in love." She spoke hotly and with
scorn.
"In the paper you've just torn up," he replied, "you called me your
dearest friend in the world. In that sense, I love you. In all the
world, you are my dearest friend."
"And no more? Not an atom more?"
He hesitated.
"Come," she said bitterly. "You are trying me too far. If this is
some subtlety, some finesse, let us save it until another day. For
the last time, I ask you: Can you stand up here in the sight of the
God you believe in, and say that I am no more to you than your
dearest friend?"
It came home to Antonio that he could not, with perfect truthfulness,
say that she was his friend and no more. Yet how was he to evade her
question? Plainly the cruel, hateful moment had come for striking
the fair vase to pieces, for driving the butcher's knife into the
white lamb's heart. He raised his head and resumed the mastery over
her by a single movement of his inextinguishable will.
"My dearest friend in the world," he said gently. "If I am to blame
for the smallest fraction of this wonderful and terrible thing which
has come to pass, I crave your pardon here and now with all my heart,
and I will ask God's pardon every day until I die. But ... for God's
sake, let us forget. Let yesterday and to-day be as if they had
never been. How a woman like you could ever waste one thought of
love on a man like me neither of us can explain."
She heard him with wildly staring eyes.
"You offer me," he concluded, "a gift beyond all price. But I must
turn my back, I must close my eyes, I must stop my ears. I am
pledged to another Bride."
They were the words he had used to Senhor Jorge. But, this time, he
uttered them proudly; for he had meditated upon them often since the
serão. He knew that they were not a mean verbal quibble, and that
they enshrined the foremost fact of his life. As they left his lips
the spiritual world was as real and near as the cascade, as real and
near as the mossy boulder, as real and near as Isabel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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