Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Monks -- Fiction; Portugal -- History -- 1826-1853 -- Fiction; Wine and wine making -- Fiction
Some dead leaves fled before him, their tripping sound was no lighter
than the fall of her elfin feet. The moon suddenly peeped at him
through a clearing; and he saw her moon-white shoulders. The chirrup
of a brimming brook struck upon his ear; and he seemed to be carrying
her once more in his arms, while she murmured: "Listen, Antonio, all
the world is singing."
He knew that the guest-house must tear his wound wide open, and that
he ought to hurry home to the farm; but an irresistible influence
drew him on. He reached the broad path. He stood under the casement
whence she had flung the white rose. It was still ajar.
He turned the key in the lock and entered the ghostly and silent
house. There was enough moonlight in the salon to show him the blue
ottoman whereon she had so often sat. He hurried out of the room
with a heart ready to burst.
At the foot of the stairs he paused. They led to her chamber. Could
he bear to cross its threshold, to lean out of the window as she had
leaned out after the thunder, and to look at the bed where she had
lain sobbing for his sake? He knew he could not bear it. But his
intellect had ceased to govern him and he ascended the stairs.
A broad moonbeam lit up every corner of her chamber. Like a man
dazed he lurched to the window. There were the roses and there were
the thorns. He turned to gaze at her couch. The fine linen had been
taken away; but there was the place where she had lain, there was the
pillow which her golden head had pressed. What had her last night
been? Had she hated him or did she love him still? Had she cursed
God or had she prayed?
For a moment his mind turned the question over in a numb, impersonal
way. Then he came back with a rush to himself and, in a single
moment, his chalice of agony welled up and brimmed over. He flung
himself down on his knees and stretched out desperate hands and
hungry arms across the narrow bed.
Although long minutes passed his dry-eyed, stony anguish remained.
But at last his inward, spiritual man spoke. Was he committing a
grievous sin? Was he breaking, in spirit, a vow which he was only
keeping in the letter? Had he forsaken the Creator for a creature?
Slowly, but very surely, his conscience framed the answer. No, he
had not sinned. In all his desire of her there was still nothing of
the carnal mind. He was racked and scorched by anguish, not because
he had lost her love, but because he had been forced to break her
heart by refusing her his own. She was a child, a poor lonely child
with neither man nor woman to love her, nor any God to console her;
and he, Antonio, had flung her back into a still blacker frost and
sharper famine, to pine and wither without love and without faith.
Yet, in all this, he had simply obeyed God. He had obeyed the God
who commanded Abram to offer up Isaac, the God who "spared not His
own Son, but freely gave Him up for us all."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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