Family life -- Juvenile fiction; Girls -- Conduct of life -- Juvenile fiction
"Even when mother gets about again, she will not be fit for hard work,"
she explained hurriedly, "and, of course, there is a lot of hard work.
Father says we can't possibly keep another servant, for there will soon be
the governess to pay, as well as Mary and Job Toms."
"I know, child, I know," granny answered, almost sadly. "I scarcely
expected to be able to have you." And Audrey, feeling a little
uncomfortable lest she should have even suspected her changed feelings,
had again been struck by her aged and fragile look, the weariness in her
eyes, and in her voice, and had been troubled by it.
It had troubled her, too, ever since, but she did not know what she could
do. Indeed, she knew that she could not do anything, and that was saddest
of all.
Up on the moor she threw herself down on a bed of heather, and with only
the bees, and the larks, and the little westerly breeze for company, tried
to think the matter out. And soon the breeze blew some of her worries
away, and the sun and the birds' songs between them so raised her spirits
that she found courage to face things more hopefully and trustfully.
"I can't alter things," she sighed, "I can only do the best I know, or
what seems best."
Presently remembrance of her play came back to her. For the last week or
two she had been so busy, and her mind so occupied with other things,
she had really not had time to worry about it, and now: "There are only
three days more to wait!" she cried. "Only three days more. I wonder how
I shall first know? Will they write? or shall I see it in the papers?
or--or what? And how shall I bear it--if--if, whichever way it is?"
But, in spite of herself, her mind wandered on, picturing what she would
do with her money. Should she send away for one of those pretty, cool,
cotton rest-gowns for her mother, that she longed so for. They were often
advertised, it would be quite easy to get one. She would still have a
good deal left for other things. Or should she give the money to her
father for a new great coat? His old one was fearfully shabby.
It would take the whole of her money, but it would be lovely when winter
came, to know that he was not cold. Oh! but she did want to get some new
curtains, or sheets, and--and Faith was dreadfully in need of a rain coat,
and: "Oh, dear!" she cried, rousing out of her day-dream, "and, after all,
I shall probably not even have a five-shilling consolation prize!
How silly I am to let myself think of it. It is enough to prevent its
coming."
She got on to her feet, and shook herself, to shake the dried grass and
heather from her skirt and her long hair--to shake off her foolishness
too. Well, five shillings would be useful. It would buy mother some
fruit, and wool for socks for father. "I wish though I could forget all
about it. I wish something would happen to drive it out of my head
again." And already something was happening--was on its way to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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