But, while reason and judgment teach us to control the expression of certain feelings, they urge that this control be exercised in transforming those feelings into helpful ones and giving them an adequate outlet. Such a substitution has been suggested above. Let us not forget that nothing in existence is of personal value until it gives some one an emotion; that feeling is the beauty of life; that living, without the happy, wholesome affective glow, would not be worth the effort; that beauty and strength and sweetness of feeling make for a worthy self. Remember, too, that feeling is the curse of life. It is feeling that would make us give up the whole struggle; and ugliness and weakness and bitterness of feeling make for a despicable self. Hope lies for us all in the realization that we can choose our feelings, our responses. We can be utterly discouraged, and bitter and depressed at failure; or we can recognize it as a sign-board telling us that the other way than the one we just followed leads to the goal. And we can follow its pointing finger with faith in a new attempt because, now, we know at least how _not_ to go. We can learn despair from all the bitter and the hateful and the mean; or we can learn that they never could be called so if there were not the sweet, the lovable, and the generous with which to compare them. You can learn to search as with a microscope for all the undesirable traits of your patients, or you can calmly accept all that assert themselves as undeniable facts, but use your microscope to find their desirable characteristics which offer possibilities of being brought to the foreground. You cannot constructively help yourself or your patient by denying the existence of the less worthy traits; but you can resolve to call out the something better. And if you do not find it, as may rarely be the case, you can refuse to let it make you skeptical of finding it in others. Let us remember always that, "It is not things or conditions or people that harm us; it is only the way we respond to them that can hurt." This one great truth, if really believed and made a part of all our thinking, would save scores of people from nervous wreckage. It is a favorite saying of a wise man who has helped a great many people to endure and take new courage when life seemed too hard to meet. That big, broken-arm case on the ward cursed you yesterday because you would not loosen his splints. And you rushed from the room angry and humiliated, wishing you could quit nursing forever, and asked to be moved because you had been insulted. But that man cannot harm you. He has never known a real lady in his life before. His training from childhood has been to regard women as chattels to do man's bidding; his experience in life is that they usually do what he asks--women of his kind. Moreover, he has never had a serious pain before, and it is not to be endured.