Lady Baltimore, rising, walks deliberately toward the door. It is her,
usual method of putting an end to all discussions of this sort between
them--of terminating any allusions to what she believes to be his
unfaithful past--that past that has wrecked her life.
As a rule, Baltimore makes no attempt to prolong the argument. He has
always let her go, with a sneering word, perhaps, or a muttered
exclamation; but to-day he follows her, and stepping between her and the
door, bars her departure.
"By heavens! you shall hear me," says he, his face dark with anger. "I
will not submit any longer, in silence, to your insolent treatment of
me. You condemn me, but I tell you it is I who should condemn. Do you
think I believe in your present attitude toward me? Pretend as you will,
even to yourself, in your soul it is impossible that you should give
credence to that old story, false as it is old. No! you cling to it to
mask the feet you have tired of me."
"Let me pass."
"Not until you have heard me!" With a light, but determined grasp of her
arm, he presses her back into the chair she has just quitted.
"That story was a lie, I tell you. Before our marriage, I confess, there
were some things--not creditable--to which I plead guilty, but----"
"Oh! be silent!" cries she, putting up her hand impulsively to check
him. There is open disgust and horror on her pale, severe face.
"Before, before our marriage," persists he passionately.
"What! do you think there is no temptation--no sin--no falling away from
the stern path of virtue in this life? Are you so mad or so ignorant as
to believe that every man you meet could show a perfectly clean record
of----"
"I cannot--I will not listen," interposes she, springing to her feet,
white and indignant.
"There is nothing to hear. I am not going to pollute your ears," says
he, with a curl of his lip. "Pray be reassured. What I only wish to say
is that if you condemn me for a few past sins you should condemn also
half your acquaintances. That, however, you do not do. For me alone, for
your husband, you reserve all your resentment."
"What are the others to me?"
"What am I to you, for the matter of that?" with a bitter laugh, "if
they are nothing I am less than nothing. You deliberately flung me aside
all because----Why, look here!" moving toward her in uncontrollable
agitation, "say I had sinned above the Galileans--say that lie was
true--say I had out-Heroded Herod in evil courses, still am I past the
pale of forgiveness? Saint as you are, have you no pity for me? In
all your histories of love and peace and perfection is there never
a case of a poor devil of a sinner like me being taken back into
grace--absolved--pardoned?"
"To rave like this is useless. There is no good to be got from it. You
know what I think, what I believe. You deceived--wronged----Let me go,
Cecil!"
"Before--before," repeats he, obstinately. "What that woman told you
since, I swear to you, was a most damned lie."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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