"How happy some o'er other some can be!" Her thoughts run to Barbara and Monkton. They are happy in spite of many frowns from fortune. They are poor--as society counts poverty--but the want of money is not a cardinal evil. They love each other; and the children are things to be loved as well--darling children! well grown, and strong, and healthy, though terrible little Turks at times--God bless them! Oh! that she could count herself as blessed as Barbara, whose greatest trouble is to deny herself this and that, to be able to pay for the other thing. No! to be poor is not to be unhappy. "Our happiness in this world," says a writer, "depends on the affections we are able to inspire." Truly she--Joyce--has not been successful in her quest. For if he had loved her, would he ever have doubted her? "Perfect love," says the oldest, grandest testimony of all, "casteth out fear." And he had feared. Sitting here in the dawning daylight, the tears ran softly down her cheeks. It is a strange thing, but true, that never once during this whole night's dreary vigil do her thoughts once turn to Beauclerk. CHAPTER XXX. "Oh, there's stony a leaf in Atholl wood, And mony a bird in its breast, And mony a pain may the heart sustain Ere it sab itsel' to rest." Barbara meets her on the threshold and draws her with loving arms into the dining-room. "I knew you would be here at this hour. Lady Baltimore wrote me word about it. And I have sent the chicks away to play in the garden, as I thought you would like to have a comfortable chat just at first." "Lady Baltimore wrote?" "Yes, dear. Just to say you were distressed about that unfortunate affair--that drive, you know--and that you felt you wanted to come back to me. I was glad you wanted that, darling." "You are not angry with me, Barbara?" asks the girl, loosening her sister's arms the better to see her face. "Angry! No, how could I be angry?" says Mrs. Monkton, the more vehemently in that she knows she _had_ been very angry just at first. "It was the merest chance. It might have happened to anybody. One can't control storms!" "No--that's what Mrs. Connolly said, only she called it 'the ilimints,'" says Joyce, with quite a little ghost of a smile. "Well, now you are home again, and it's all behind you. And there is really nothing in it. And you must not think so much about it," says Barbara, fondling her hand. "Lady Baltimore said you were too unhappy about it." "Did she say that? What else did she say?" asks the girl, regarding her sister with searching, eyes. What had Lady Baltimore told her? That impulsive admission to the latter last night had been troubling Joyce ever since, and now to have to lay bare her heart again, to acknowledge her seeming fickleness, to receive Barbara's congratulation on it, only to declare that this second lover has, too, been placed by Fate outside her life, seems too bitter to her. Oh, no--she cannot tell Barbara.