Yes! it was for her sake alone he had hesitated. He feels sure of that
now. He has thoroughly persuaded himself the purity of the motives that
kept him tongue tied when honor called aloud to him for speech. He feels
himself so exalted that he metaphorically pats himself upon the back and
tells himself he is a righteous being--a very Brutus where honor is
concerned; any other man might have hurried that exquisite creature into
a squalid marriage for the mere sake of gratifying an overpowering
affection, but he had been above all that! He had considered her! The
man's duty is ever to protect the woman! He had protected her--even from
herself; for that she would have been only too willing to link her sweet
fate with his at any price-was patent to all the world. Few people have
felt as virtuous as Mr. Beauclerk as he comes to the end of this thread
of his imaginings.
Well! he will make it up to her! He smiles benignly through the smoke
that rises round his nose. She shall never have reason to remember that
he had not fallen on his knees to her--as a less considerate man might
have done--when he was without the means to make her life as bright as
it should be.
The most eager of lovers must live, and eating is the first move toward
that conclusion. Yet if he had given way to selfish desires they would
scarcely, he and she, have had sufficient bread (of any delectable kind)
to fill their mouths. But now all would be different. She, clever girl!
had supplied the blank; she had squared the difficulty. Having provided
the wherewithal to keep body and soul together in a nice, respectable,
fashionable, modern sort of way, her constancy shall certainly be
rewarded. He will go straight down to the Court, and declare to her the
sentiments that have been warming his breast (silently!) all these past
months. What a dear girl she is, and so fond of him! That in itself is
an extra charm in her very delightful character. And those fortunate
thousands! Quite a quarter of a million, isn't it? Well, of course, no
use saying they won't come in handy--no use being hypocritical over
it--horrid thing a hypocrite!--well, those thousands naturally have
their charm, too.
He rose, flung his cigarette aside (it was finished as far as careful
enjoyment would permit), and rang for his servant to pack his
portmanteaux. He was going to the Court by the morning train.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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