"The old story," returns he, "and I am sick of it. I have thrown up my
hand. I would have been faithful to her, Beatrice. I swear that, but she
does not care for my devotion. And as for me, now----" He throws out his
arms as if tired to death, and draws in his breath heavily.
"Now?" says she, leaning forward.
"Am I worth your acceptance?" says he, turning sharply to her. "I hardly
dare to think it, and yet you have been kind to me, and your own lot is
not altogether a happy one, and----"
He pauses.
"Do you hesitate?" asks she very bitterly, although her pale lips are
smiling.
"Will you risk it all?" says he, sadly. "Will you come away with me? I
feel I have no friend on earth but you. Will you take pity on me? I
shall not stay here, whatever happens; I have striven against fate too
long--it has overcome me. Another land--a different life--complete
forgetfulness----"
"Do you know what you are saying?" asks Lady Swansdown, who has grown
deadly white.
"Yes; I have thought it all out. It is for you now to decide. I have
sometimes thought I was not entirely indifferent to you, and at all
events we are friends in the best sense of the term. If you were a happy
married woman, Beatrice, I should not speak to you like this, but as it
is--in another land--if you will come with me--we----"
"Think, think!" says she, putting up her hand to stay him from further
speech. "All this is said in a moment of angry excitement. You have
called me your friend--and truly. I am so far in touch with you that I
can see you are very unhappy. You have had--forgive me if I probe
you--but you have had some--some words with your wife?"
"Final words! I hope--I think."
"I do not, however. All this will blow over, and--come Cyril, face it!
Are you really prepared to deliberately break the last link that holds
you to her?"
"There is no link. She has cut herself adrift long since. She will be
glad to be rid of me."
"And you--will you be glad to be rid of her?"
"It will be better," says he, shortly.
"And--the boy!"
"Don't let us go into it," says he, a little wildly.
"Oh! but we must--we must," says she. "The boy--you will----?"
"I shall leave him to her. It is all she has. I am nothing to her. I
cannot leave her desolate."
"How you consider her!" says she, in a choking voice. She could have
burst into tears! "What a heart! and that woman to treat him
so--whilst--oh! it is hard--hard!"
"I tell you," says she presently, "that you have not gone into this
thing. To-morrow you will regret all that you have now said."
"If you refuse me--yes. It lies in your hands now. Are you going to
refuse me?"
"Give me a moment," says she faintly. She has risen to her feet, and is
so standing that he cannot watch her. Her whole soul is convulsed. Shall
she? Shall she not? The scales are trembling.
That woman's face! How it rises before her now, pale, cold,
contemptuous. With what an insolent air she had almost ordered her from
her sight. And yet--and yet----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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