It had touched her. She looks like a living thing stricken suddenly into
marble, as she stands gazing back at him, with her hands tightly
clenched before her. India! To India! And she had never heard.
Extreme anger, however, fights with her grief, and, overcoming it,
enables her to answer her adversary.
"I think you, too, will feel regret," says she, gravely, "when you look
back upon your conduct to me to-day."
There is such gentleness, such dignity, in her rebuke, and her beautiful
face is so full of a mute reproach, that all the good there is in
Beauclerk rises to the surface. He flings his hat upon a table near, and
himself at her feet.
"Forgive me!" cries he, in a stifled tone. "Have mercy on me, Joyce!--I
love you--I swear it! Do not cast me adrift! All I have said or done I
regret now! You said I should regret, and I do."
Something in his abasement disgusts the girl, instead of creating pity
in her breast. She shakes herself free of him by a sharp and horrified
movement.
"You must go home," she says calmly, yet with a frowning brow, "and you
must not come here again. I told, you it was all useless, but you would
not listen. No, no; not a word!" He has risen to his feet, and would
have advanced toward her, but she waves him from her with a sort of
troubled hatred in her face.
"You mean----" begins he, hoarsely.
"One thing--one thing only," feverishly--"that I hope I shall never see
you again!"
CHAPTER XLVIII.
"When a man hath once forfeited the reputation of his sincerity he
is set fast, and nothing will then serve his turn, neither truth
nor falsehood."
When he is gone Joyce draws a deep breath. For a moment it seems to her
that it is all over--a disagreeable task performed, and then suddenly a
reaction sets in. The scene gone through has tried her more than she
knows, and without warning now she finds she is crying bitterly.
How horrible it all had been. How detestable he had looked--not so much
when offering her his hand (as for his heart--pah!) as when he had given
way to his weak exhibition of feeling and had knelt at her feet,
throwing himself on her mercy. She placed her hands over her eyes when
she thought of that. Oh! she wished he hadn't done it!
She is still crying softly--not now for Beauclerk's behavior, but for
certain past beliefs--when a knock at the door warns her that another
visitor is coming. She has not had time or sufficient presence of mind
to tell a servant that she is not at home, when Miss Maliphant is
ushered in by the parlor maid.
"I thought I'd come down and have a chat with you about last night," she
begins in her usual loud tones, and with an assumption of easiness that
is belied by the keen and searching glance she directs at Joyce.
"I'm so glad," says Joyce, telling her little lie as bravely as she can,
while trying to conceal her red eyelids from Miss Maliphant's astute
gaze by pretending to rearrange a cushion that has fallen from one of
the lounges.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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