"It seems to me that you hardly know what you are saying," said Lady
Swansdown quickly. "Do you think then that women do not feel, do not
suffer as men never do? What wild thoughts torment your brain that you
should put forward so senseless a question?--one that has been answered
satisfactorily thousands of years ago. All the pain, the suffering of
earth lies on the woman's shoulders; it has been so from the
beginning--it shall be so to the end. On being thrust forth from their
Eden, which suffered most do you suppose, Adam or Eve?"
"It is an old story," says he gloomily, "and why should you, of all
people, back it up? You--who----"
"Better leave me out of the question."
"You!"
"I am outside your life, Baltimore," says she, laying her hand on the
back of the seat beside her, and sinking into it. "Leave me there!"
"Would you bereave me of all things," says he, "even my friends? I
thought--I believed, that you at least--understood me."
"Too well!" says she in a low tone. Her hands have met each other and
are now clasped together in her lap in a grip that is almost hurtful.
Great heavens! if he only knew--could he then probe, and wound, and
tempt!
"If you do----" begins he--then stops short, and passing her, paces to
and fro before her in the dying light of the moon. Lady Swansdown
leaning back gazes at him with eyes too sad for tears--eyes "wild with
all regret." Oh! if they two might but have met earlier. If this
man--this man in all the world, had been given to her, as her allotment.
"Beatrice!" says he, stopping short before her, "were you ever in love?"
There is a dead silence. Lady Swansdown sinking still deeper into the
arm of the chair, looks up at him with strange curious eyes. What does
he mean? To her--to put such a question to her of all women! Is he deaf,
blind, mad--or only cruel?
A sort of recklessness seizes upon her. Well, if he doesn't know, he
shall know, though it be to the loss of her self-respect forever!
"Never," says she, leaning a little forward until the moonbeams gleam
upon her snowy neck and arms. "Never--never--until----"
The pause is premeditated. It is eloquence itself! The light of heaven
playing on her beautiful face betrays the passion of it--the rich
pallor! One hand resting on the back of the seat taps upon the iron
work, the other is now in Baltimore's possession.
"Until now----?" suggests he boldly. He is leaning over her. She shakes
her head. But in this negative there is only affirmation.
His hand tightens more closely upon hers. The long slender fingers yield
to his pressure--nay more--return it; they twine round his.
"If I thought----" begins he in a low, stammering tone--he moves nearer
to her, nearer still. Does she move toward him? There is a second's
hesitation on his part, and then, his lips meet hers!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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