"Forgive me," he said, in a low, unsteady voice that to his own ears
sounded full of suppressed yet passionate appeal. "Forgive me, lady,
that for one moment I have seemed discourteous. I am not so, in very
truth. Sad fancies fret my brain at times, and--and there is that
within thine unveiled beauty which sword-like wounds my soul! I am not
joyous natured: ...unlike Sah-luma, chosen favorite of fortune, I have
lost all, all that made my life once seem fair. I am dead to those that
loved me, ... forgotten by those that honored me, . . a wanderer in
strange lands, a solitary wayfarer perplexed with many griefs to which
I cannot give a name! Nevertheless," and he drew a quick, hard breath,
"if I may serve thee, fairest Lysia,--as Sah-luma serves thee,--subject
to thy sovereign favor,--thou shalt not find me lacking in obedience!
Command me as thou wilt; let me efface myself to worship thee! Let me,
if it be possible, drown thought,--slay memory,--murder conscience,--so
that I may once more, as in the old time, be glad with the gladness
that only love can give and only death can take away!"
As he finished this unpremeditated, uncontrollable outburst his eyes
wistfully sought hers. She met his look with a languid indifference and
a half-disdainful smile.
"Enough! restrain thine ardor!" she said coldly, her dark dilating orbs
shining like steel beneath the velvet softness of her long lashes.
"Thou dost speak ignorantly, unknowing what thy words involve--words to
which I well might bind thee, were I less forbearing to thine
inconsiderate rashness. How like all men thou art! How keen to plunge
into unfathomed deeps, merely to snatch the pearl of present pleasure!
How martyr-seeming in thy fancied sufferings, as though THY little wave
of personal sorrow swamped the world! O wondrous human Egotism! that
sees but one great absolute 'I' scrawled on the face of Nature! 'I' am
afflicted, let none dare to rejoice! 'I' would be glad, let none
presume to grieve!" ... She laughed, a little low laugh of icy satire,
and then resumed: "I thank thee for thy proffered service, sir
stranger, albeit I need it not,--nor do I care to claim it at thy
hands. Thou art my guest--no more! Whether thou wilt hereafter deserve
to be enrolled my bondsman depends upon thy prowess and--my humor!"
Her beautiful eyes flashed scornfully, and there was something cruel in
her glance. Theos felt it sting him like a sharp blow. His nerves
quivered,--his spirit rose in arms against the cynical hauteur of this
woman whom he loved; yes,--LOVED, with a curious sense of revived
passion--passion that seemed to have slept in a tomb for ages, and that
now suddenly sprang into life and being, like a fire kindled anew on
dead ashes!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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