The evening shadows were now closing in rapidly, and already above the
furthest visible snow-peak the first risen star sparkled faintly in the
darkening sky. Soon the vesper bell began ringing as it had rung on the
previous night when Alwyn, newly arrived, had sat alone in the
refectory, listlessly wondering what manner of men he had come amongst,
and what would be the final result of his adventure into the wilds of
Caucasus. His feelings had certainly undergone some change since then,
inasmuch as he was no longer disposed to ridicule or condemn religious
sentiment, though he was nearly as far from actually believing in
Religion itself as ever. The attitude of his mind was still distinctly
skeptical--the immutable pride of what he considered his own firmly
rooted convictions was only very slightly shaken--and he now even
viewed the prospect of his journey to the "field of Ardath" as a mere
fantastic whim--a caprice of his own fancy which he chose to gratify
just for the sake of curiosity.
But notwithstanding the stubbornness of the materialistic principles
with which he had become imbued, his higher instincts were,
unconsciously to himself, beginning to be aroused--his memory
involuntarily wandered back to the sweet, fresh days of his earliest
manhood before the poison of Doubt had filtered through his soul--his
character, naturally of the lofty, imaginative, and ardent cast,
re-asserted its native force over the blighting blow of blank Atheism
which had for a time paralyzed its efforts--and as he unwittingly
yielded more and more to the mild persuasions of these genial
influences, so the former Timon-like bitterness of his humor gradually
softened. There was no trace in him now of the dark, ironic, and
reckless scorn that, before his recent visionary experience, had
distinguished his whole manner and bearing--the smile came more readily
to his lips--and he seemed content for the present to display the sunny
side of his nature--a nature impassioned, frank, generous, and noble,
in spite of the taint of overweening, ambitions egotism which somewhat
warped its true quality and narrowed the range of its sympathies. In
his then frame of mind, a curious, vague sense of half-pleasurable
penitence was upon him,--delicate, undefined, almost devotional
suggestions stirred his thoughts with the refreshment that a cool wind
brings to parched and drooping flowers,--so that when Heliobas, taking
up the silver "Esdras" reliquary and preparing to leave the apartment
in response to the vesper summons, said gently, "Will you attend our
service, Mr. Alwyn?" he assented at once, with a pleased alacrity which
somewhat astonished himself as he remembered how, on the previous
evening, he had despised and inwardly resented all forms of religious
observance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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