would most probably have run all the way in spite of the sultriness of
the air,--but he restrained this impulse, and walked leisurely on
purpose, reproaching himself as he went along for the utter absurdity
of his expectations.
"Was ever madman more mad than I!" he murmured with some
self-contempt--"What logical human being in his right mind would be
guilty of such egregious folly! But am I logical? Certainly not! Am I
in my right mind? I think I am,--yet I may be wrong. The question
remains, ... what IS logic? ... and what IS being in one's right mind?
No one can absolutely decide! Let me see if I can review calmly my
ridiculous position. It comes to this,--I insist on being mesmerized
... I have a dream, ... and I see a woman in the dream"--here he
suddenly corrected himself ... "a woman did I say? No! ... she was
something far more than that! A lovely phantom--a dazzling creature of
my own imagination ... an exquisite ideal whom I will one day
immortalize ... yes!--IMMORTALIZE in song!"
He raised his eyes as he spoke to the dusky firmament thickly studded
with stars, and just then caught sight of a fleecy silver-rimmed cloud
passing swiftly beneath the moon and floating downwards toward the
earth,--it was shaped like a white-winged bird, and was here and there
tenderly streaked with pink, as though it had just travelled from some
distant land where the sun was rising. It was the only cloud in the
sky,--and it had a peculiar, almost phenomenal effect by reason of its
rapid motion, there being not the faintest breeze stirring. Alwyn
watched it gliding down the heavens till it had entirely disappeared,
and then began his meditations anew.
"Any one,--even without magnetic influence being brought to bear upon
him, might have visions such as mine! Take an opium-eater, for
instance, whose life is one long confused vista of visions,--suppose he
were to accept all the wild suggestions offered to his drugged brain,
and persist in following them out to some sort of definite
conclusion,--the only place for that man would be a lunatic asylum.
Even the most ordinary persons, whose minds are never excited in any
abnormal way, are subject to very curious and inexplicable dreams,--but
for all that, they are not such fools as to believe in them. True,
there is my poem,--I don't know how I wrote it, yet written it is, and
complete from beginning to end--an actual tangible result of my vision,
and strange enough in its way, to say the least of it. But what is
stranger still is that I LOVE the radiant phantom that I saw ... yes,
actually love her with a love no mere woman, were she fair as Troy's
Helen, could ever arouse in me! Of course,--in spite of the contrary
assertions made by that remarkably interesting Chaldean monk
Heliobas,--I feel I am the victim of a brain-delusion,--therefore it is
just as well I should see this 'field of Ardath' and satisfy myself
that nothing comes of it--in which case I shall be cured of my craze."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account