American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
When he went downstairs, another guest had arrived and was taking
his dinner-card from the tray a footman was offering him. It was Mr.
Barnsell. Barnsell was a sleek, brown, middle-aged man whose only
interest in life was comfort; and as his means were limited and his
tastes luxurious, the attainment of supreme comfort had become both an
art and sport to him.
"Ah, good evening, Hewer!" he said.
"Good evening, sir," said Hewer without the slightest change of
expression. He hated and despised Barnsell, for the reason that he
was one of those people who demand a far higher standard of comfort
from other people's houses and servants than he did from his own.
When he stayed at the Torbys,--as he did for long periods,--he gave a
great deal of trouble, and had been known to send a suit of clothes
downstairs three times because it had not been properly pressed,
although Hewer knew very well that at home his clothes were very
sketchily taken care of by the housemaid. Hewer's only revenge was to
force upward the whole scale of Mr. Barnsell's tips. Hewer himself did
not care much about money and was very well paid by the Torbys, but in
the interests of pure justice, he received Mr. Barnsell's crinkled
bill with an air of cold surprise that made him double it next time.
"Gad, Hewer," Mr. Barnsell was saying, "there's a pretty ugly situation
outside there--a crowd around the door, and marching up Fifth Avenue.
They nearly pulled my chauffeur off the box. If they'd laid a finger on
me, I'd have let them have it, I can tell you."
"I hope they did not hurt the chauffeur, sir."
"Oh, no," said Barnsell positively; but Hewer knew from his tone that
he had not waited to see.
Immediately after this, terrible things began to happen to the Torbys'
nice party--things that had never happened to any of their parties
before. The meeting in Madison Square having been broken up by methods
which the participants described as being a little short of massacre,
and which the police said were too velvet-gloved to be effective, had
drifted away into smaller groups, all looking for trouble. Perhaps
it was the color of the Torby's carpet, or the size or ugliness of a
house built in the worst taste of the '80's, or the delicious smell
of terrapin which came floating out of the kitchen windows; but for
whatever reason, a crowd had collected about the door and was mocking
at and jostling the guests in such a threatening manner that the night
watchman rushed in to tell a footman to telephone at once to the
police, and poor fat little Mrs. McFarlane arrived with her tiara quite
on one side and a conviction that she had just escaped being strung up
to a lamp-post in the best style of the French Revolution.
The McFarlanes, who took themselves seriously in every position, made
a dramatic entrance into the drawing-room. Mr. McFarlane held up his
hand for silence and then said:
"We are in grave danger."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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