Reviewing them from the standpoint of their social or festival value,
it is obvious that the marriage celebration easily takes first place,
the betrothal festivities second, baptism and funeral third. There is
the rather uncouth, perhaps, but none the less spontaneous gaiety of
the friends of the bridegroom, not only on the eve of the wedding-day
when they go to the bath, but also on the morning of the wedding-day
when the unfortunate youth is assuredly cured of any addiction he
might have to the use of perfumes. I should imagine that the music
would begin to bore the young men by the time the barber arrives,
since the musicians also accompany the rejoicing of the night before,
and yet it may be said that there could be nothing more convenient
or ingenious devised to carry over a lull in the merry-making, for
after all, the young men could not well be singing, joking, laughing,
and teasing all the time. In striking contrast is the melancholy
rejoicing of the party of young women at the home of the bride. But
where there is dancing and singing there can not well be weeping,
although no doubt it is more natural for the bride to be thoughtful
on her wedding-day, than for the bridegroom, for it is the former
who leaves her home to spend the rest of her days in a very new,
very strange, perhaps even unkindly world. There is still another
reason for the melancholy, in that the girl must know she is bidding
farewell forever to the delights and joys and freedom of childhood,
for although to-day she may speak and sing and make merry, to-morrow
morning she must be silent and prepared to pour water over the hands
of her father- and mother-in-law. Henceforth it is for her to be
submissive, obedient, docile, uncomplaining even at heart, for what
use will it be to complain, and though her most cherished dreams
may be of motherhood, does she not also have spirit, and why must
it be broken? Is she then only a chattel to be sold into everlasting
bondage? It is all too evident, even to the dullest of brides, that
the happiness of childhood is forever past, and the brighter one can
hardly fail to feel that she has been bartered for the bit of gold
about her waist or neck.
There is then the very highest of social value to be attributed to both
of these festivities, and largely because in each group of people,
the young men on one side, the young women on the other, there is
perfect community of feeling, mutual understanding, and freedom
of thought and expression. In comparison with these gatherings,
the mixed assembly at the house of the bridegroom after the marriage
ceremony is of little importance. The succession of events covering a
period of nearly thirty-six hours, of which only a few, and perhaps
none at all, are spent in sleep by the members of the bridal party,
must certainly begin to have its effect by the time the little baby
doll is placed in the lap of the bride.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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