Around the World with Josiah Allen's WifeHolley, Marietta
General
Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife
Holley, Marietta
Women travelers -- Fiction
"But things are in a dretful state in Russia and Japan and China. It
is a great pity I hadn't knowed what wuz comin' when I wuz there; I
could probable done lots of good advisin' the Empress and tryin' to
make her do as she ort to, though my pardner thinks the blame hain't
all on China. He argys wrong, but is sot on it. He sez spozen he wuz
slow with his spring's work and didn't keep his fences up, or hustle
round so and mebby didn't pay Ury so big wages as the Loontowners did
in their factory, and wuzn't what they called sound on the doctrines.
You know they are seven-day Baptisses over in Loontown and Shackville;
but Josiah sez if them two Powers got together and tried to force
Loonton and Shackville civilization and ways onto Jonesville, which is
a older place and glad to be kinder settled down and mind its own
bizness; and if they should try to build roads through Jonesville
medders and berry lots and set up their tabernacles and manufacturys
there and steal right and left and divide Jonesville into pieces and
divide the pieces amongst 'em, why, sez he, 'I would arm myself and
Ury and fight to the bitter hind end.'
"Sez Josiah: 'Why do we want our pleasant woods and fields turned into
noisy bedlams by the whirrin' of wheels, creakin' of engines and the
roar and smoke and dust of traffick? Spozein' we should make more
money and dress better and own more books; money hain't everything in
life, nor hustlin' in bizness; peace and comfort and mindin' your own
bizness is sunthin'.'
"'And wheresoever them noisy manufactories go, there goes whiskey,'
sez Arvilly. A neighborin' woman who wuz by and jined in: 'What good
duz it do to try to settle which is the right Sunday if at the same
time them proselyters brings pizen that crazes their converts so they
can't tell Sunday mornin' from Friday midnight, bring the preachin'
of love and peace and the practice of hatred and ruin, the creeds and
catechism packed on with opium and whiskey.'
"'Yes,' sez Josiah, 'let me catch the Loontown and Shackville Powers
tryin' to divide Jonesville into pieces and grabbin' the pieces and
dividin' 'em up amongst 'em and turnin' us out of house and hum, I
guess them powers would find they had got hold of a Boxer when they
come to cut up my paster and divide it and the medder back of the
house where grandfather Allen's grandpa and great-grandma lays with a
white railin' round 'em, kep' up by the Allens two hundred years. I
guess they'd think they had got holt of a Boxer--yes indeed! and
Josiah Allen breathed hard and looked warlike.
"'But,' I sez, 'Josiah, you hain't got it right; there is more to
it.'
"And he sez fiery red in the face and sithin' hard, 'There is
generally more to everything.' And I sez, 'So there is, Josiah.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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