"That is just the reason why I have thought it right to let you know the
real character of Madame de Pënâfiel, so that you might be on your
guard if you ever were presented to her. Really, I should have been
sorry to see you fall a victim to her fascinations," said the count to
me, with such an expression of kindliness that I could hardly believe it
to be feigned. "Between gentlemen," said he, "there are certain services
one should render one another; but really, it must have been the great
interest I take in you, or the desire I have to be useful to you, that
made me warn you so frankly; because really--" and the count hesitated
for a moment, and then began again in a serious way, in which there
seemed to be a real tone of affectionate solicitude:
"Come now, would you like to know just what I think?"
"Certainly I would," said I, quite surprised at this sudden transition.
"Well, then, you know that between men there can be nothing more stupid
than complimentary speeches; in spite of which I mean to tell you that
there is something about you which attracts one from the very first, but
after that charming first impression there seems to be something in your
manner, something that is either stiffness, coolness, or a haughty
reserve, that repels people. You are young, but you have neither the
enthusiasm nor the trustfulness of youth. There is a contrast in your
nature that I have not yet been able to explain. When you take part in a
conversation of young men who are jovial, careless, and free, your face
brightens up, you say things that are wilder and gayer than the gayest
and the wildest; and then, when you have said the last words, you put on
an air of coldness, of weariness, and seem as though you were bored to
death, so that no one knows what to think of gaiety which is so closely
followed by such gloomy sadness. So I will frankly tell you that it is
devilish hard to take you into one's confidence, no matter how much one
would like to."
You can be sure that I did not believe a word that the count said about
my wonderful powers of attraction, and as I could not understand why he
should want to flatter me, except for some purpose of his own, and as
these compliments seemed stupid and vulgar, I decided to show him how I
felt about it, and to show myself in such a light that he would spare me
any such confidences in the future.
"You are right," said I to the count. "I know that it is not easy to be
confidential with me, for I am by nature very hypocritical, and, knowing
myself, put very little faith in others. Consequently, it is quite
impossible that any one should ever feel attracted towards me or that I
should ever desire such sympathy."
The count looked as though he were seriously astonished; then he said,
in an injured tone:
"Your dissimulation is not very dangerous, since you acknowledge it."
"But I have never wanted to be dangerous," said I, smiling.
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