"Ah, good God, am I dreaming? It is a frightful dream, and it has made
me ill," said she, placing her trembling hands on her head.
My heart was beating as though it would break. I was partly conscious of
the terrible distress I was causing this sweet woman, as with crushing
irony and coarse insolence I destroyed the beautiful picture her love
had painted. I shuddered to think of how she must suffer, if this really
was her first affection since her husband's death. But my furious
distrust worked itself to a higher and higher pitch, at the remembrance
of all the odious stories I had heard told of Marguerite, and by my fear
of being cheated, being taken for a dupe; so I stifled these gleams of
reason, and found no words too strong to express my scorn of what I
called the outrageous duplicity of this woman.
She soon was completely overcome, and fell to weeping bitterly.
She showed no signs of indignation at my words! She could tolerate such
insults! Truth would not have been so patient; only falsehood is
cowardly. She had given herself to me; why not to others? These were the
only thoughts that her silent and tearful grief awoke in me.
She wept in silence for a long time.
I said no word of consolation. I stood there staring at her with my
frowning look of anger towards her and irritation towards myself.
Suddenly Marguerite raised up her pale face, looked around as if dazed,
rose up, and took two or three steps forward, saying:
"No, no, 'tis not a dream; 'tis reality. It must be." Then, as though
her strength had all gone from her limbs, she sank on an armchair.
Wiping her eyes, she said to me, in a steady voice: "Pardon me this
weakness. It is the first time since I told you all that you have ever
treated me in such a manner. I believe, though, that you are not so
cruel as you seem. It is impossible that you should cause me such
suffering, unless you have a very good reason to believe in my
treachery. No, that were impossible! So I shall not be angry with you.
You have been deceived. You have heard some slanderous story, and you
have believed it. Ah, well, dear friend, neither you nor I will throw
away our future chances of happiness on some such miserable falsehood.
You will therefore confide in me, and tell me what has caused this
distrust, of what I am suspected, and what proofs you believe you have
of my falseness. You will tell me what is this accusation, and with a
single word I will destroy it. Do you hear me? With a single word, for
the language of truth is irresistible. Again I tell you, Arthur, I am
not angry with you. To treat a woman as you have treated me, when
radiant with hope and love she came to offer you-- No, no, we will say
no more of that. But to treat a woman with such scorn and severity, you
should have some serious proof of her treachery. Say then, tell me, tell
me, I beg of you, what have I done?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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