Then, prompted by this new access of jealousy, I began for the first
time to insult my noble conduct towards Frank and Hélène; I mocked at
my delicacy with bitter irony. I said that I was a ridiculous fool to do
all this for people who most likely never spoke of me except with scorn;
then, by a miserable chain of thought, I arrived at a state of mind in
which I was again capable of bringing up accusations against Hélène.
If she had consoled herself so soon, it was because she had never really
loved me; in spite of my love, my regret, my remorse, she had been
merciless to me; her refusal of my hand was only a high-strung display
of her false pride. She was still prouder than she was egotistical and
mercenary, I said to myself. Fortunately, she will never know the source
of this help, and, with the exception of Lord Falmouth, whose discretion
I can count on, and from whom I have hidden the veritable pretext of my
conduct, no one shall ever be aware of my silly generosity. And after
all, I added, seeking to find by no matter what means a selfish motive
for my conduct, "I have got the painting and the drawings; and when
Frank will have become a celebrity, they will be very valuable, and I
shall have made a good speculation!"
It was thus, alas! that I found the means of withering and falsifying my
good action, through the odious fear I had of being the dupe of a high
and honourable sentiment.
In spite of these fancies which for awhile dimmed the only ray of
happiness whose blest influence had come to refresh me, I wished to see
Hélène once more, if it were possible, and also to be an invisible
witness of the manner that she and Frank would receive Lord Falmouth.
I took up my station there, on the boulevard, at nine o'clock, not
daring to approach the house until after the arrival of Lord Falmouth. I
did not wait long; very soon a carriage stopped, it was his. Again I
leaned my forehead against the window-blinds.
By a noticeable display of good breeding, which showed me that Hélène
was still the same, there had, evidently, been no preparations made in
her modest home, there was nothing to indicate an expected visit from a
Mæcenas. Everything was arranged with its usual taste and simplicity.
When Lord Falmouth entered, he bowed respectfully to Hélène, who
received him with a polite dignity which was full of charm. Frank, in
his manner, seemed to understand perfectly the exact point where the
pride of an artist should give place to the affability of a man of the
world. Then, no doubt at the request of Lord Falmouth, he showed him
some of his sketches, and I noticed that Lord Falmouth's face, which was
usually so expressionless, brightened up with something that looked
almost like enthusiasm, as he contemplated I know not what drawing;
while Hélène blushed with pride and pleasure on hearing these praises
which Frank was receiving with so much modesty and serious good
breeding.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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