If my act had any value in my own eyes, it was because I should stand
higher in his. It showed me that I was capable of a generous resolution,
and reassured me on the firmness of my attachment to Falmouth.
Now, with a nature like mine, to believe in myself was to believe in
him; to think of myself as a true, warm, and devoted friend, was to
believe myself capable of inspiring true, ardent, and devoted
friendship.
I felt that intrepid confidence of the soldier who, being perfectly sure
of his conduct under fire, waits impatiently and securely for another
occasion to show his courage. The reaction of this self-reliance was so
great that it influenced even my former sentiments.
Proud of my conduct towards Falmouth, I understood that Hélène and
Marguerite had loved me for qualities they saw in me, and which I had
never discovered until now. For the first time I knew real happiness. I
at last was able to understand all the devotion these two noble beings
had bestowed on me.
An hour after the doctor left me, the door of my chamber opened, and I
saw Falmouth, who was carried in by two of his servants.
His armchair was scarcely at my bedside, before Henry threw himself in
my arms.
In this mute embrace, his head was leaning on my shoulder, and I could
feel his tears and his trembling hands; he was only able to say these
words: "Arthur,--Arthur,--my friend, my friend!"
Although this was so long ago, and black care has dimmed the radiance of
that happy day, nothing has ever wiped out the remembrance of it, which
is still vivid enough to quicken my heart's pulses and thrill me with
delight.
It would be impossible to tell with what delicacy and effusion Falmouth
expressed his gratitude. Words can never describe his accent, his look,
nor his voice.
The head winds lasted for several days longer, and prevented our
reaching Malta as soon as we had hoped.
Lord Falmouth's wound was healing rapidly, but mine was making very slow
progress towards improvement.
Henry, in the meantime, tended me with the most affectionate solicitude.
With what sad anxiety would he watch the doctor's face, when my wound
was dressed every morning! How many eager questions he would ask as to
the probable time of my recovery! How much impatience he showed when the
doctor would shorten or prolong the date.
Shall I speak of the many trifling, but charming ways in which he
revealed his affectionate thoughtfulness for my comfort, all of which I
appreciated and enjoyed?
Falmouth told me the whole story of his life, and I hid nothing from him
in relation to mine.
He was twelve years older than I; he spoke eloquently and convincingly.
He had seen much of the world, and his words began to have great weight
with me, as he spoke with singular authority.
Nothing could be more elevated or liberal than his moral or political
convictions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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