"And why then, madame, should calumny have no effect on you? What am I
to you that you should hereafter hesitate for one instant to sacrifice
me to the imperious demands of your reputation? Would you put in the
balance the guardianship of your honour, your responsibility for your
child's future, with the charm of our daily conversations? Most
assuredly not, and you would be right; for if you persisted in your
project, if I were base enough to encourage you in it, when slander
reached you, you would have the right to turn upon me with scorn and
say: 'You pretended to be my friend! You were false! You took advantage
of my indiscretion to draw me into an intimacy where appearances may be
most damaging. Go; I shall never see you again!' And once more you would
be right, madame. Can you realise how much courage it takes to speak to
you as I do,--to refuse what you offer? Think of what you are, of all
that you are, and say if the pride and vanity of a less honest man than
I would not be gratified and flattered by those very rumours from which
I strive to save you. For, after all, what do I risk in aiding you to
compromise yourself? What do I risk? To assist the world to
misinterpret, to wither with its customary malice our intercourse,
however innocent it may be? But, you reply, in that case you would drive
me from your presence. What does that matter? Do you know how the world
would interpret this deserved banishment? It would be said that a
discord had arisen between us. If the world were well disposed towards
you, it would say you had discarded me in favour of some other lover. If
it was unfavourable to you it would say that I had abandoned you for
another mistress."
"Ah, monsieur, monsieur!" exclaimed Madame de Fersen, pressing her hands
together almost in terror. "What a picture! May it never come true!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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