"I read your reports every day. I am pleased with them, they interest
me; they are very satisfying, and, thanks to you, I have the harvest
without the trouble of reaping."
"The king overwhelms me," I said to his majesty, "and his approbation is
a favour which imposes new duties; and I will endeavour to prove myself
worthy of them."
Instead of leaving the ball, the king seated himself on a sofa near at
hand, and said to me:
"But tell me, what is all this I hear from Lord Stuart? It is very
extraordinary, and sounds like a romance."
When the king seated himself while speaking to me, the persons who
accompanied him held themselves discreetly aside.
I related to the king the history of the pirate of Porquerolles; he
listened with interest, put several questions to me, thanked me very
graciously, and withdrew.
When the king had left, I became the centre of attraction; they could
make nothing out of it. His majesty was leaving, he happens to meet me,
and thereupon he remains a quarter of an hour in particular conversation
with me.
Decidedly, I must be a man of the highest importance.
I know that nothing is more ridiculous than to appear to take pride in
such a success, and I prepared to quit the ball, when I saw Madame de
Fersen coming towards me. I had not seen her for some time, and she
seemed so changed, so fallen away, that I was shocked.
I saluted her without waiting for her, and retired, though she looked
entreatingly at me, and she was evidently coming towards me with the
intention of speaking to me.
The next day I received a letter from her.
She begged me in touching terms to come and see her, apologising for her
ingratitude, and making some gracious allusions to the past.
My first impulse was to go to Catherine at once.
I reflected, however, that this meeting was not likely to change the
fate of my love. I remembered the harshness with which Madame de Fersen
had behaved, and foolishly fancied my dignity required that I should not
yield to the first advance.
I wrote a very cold and polite letter, apologising for not going to her
as she requested, and said she could not fail to understand my reasons.
To this she made no answer.
I concluded that she had not a very great desire to see me since she did
not insist. I therefore congratulated myself on the course I had taken.
I soon heard that the prince had been called back to Russia by his
court, and was surprised, I must confess, that his wife did not
accompany him.
As to Madame de V----, I had implored her, for the sake of the
friendship she professed for me, to cease tormenting so cruelly M. de
Sérigny, declaring I would no longer lend myself to her coquettish
manœuvres; that, moreover, she was compromising herself frightfully,
and that sooner or later she would find herself ill-received in society.
She answered that I spoke like a Quaker, but for the joke of the thing
she was going to live without a shade of coquetry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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