I asked her why she had treated me so harshly on one occasion, when she had requested me not to see her little girl any more. She answered that her despair at feeling herself at the mercy of the affection I inspired, added to her jealousy and grief when she saw me smitten by so giddy a woman as Madame de V----, had alone decided her to put an end to the mysterious intimacy of which Irene was the bond, however painful to her was this determination. Later on, when she learned of the termination of my supposed intrigue with Madame de V----, and finding that absence, instead of diminishing, only increased the power I had gained over her, she endeavoured to renew our former relations. Moreover, Irene commenced to be seriously affected by my absence. "Love is so inexplicable in its contrasts and its sensitiveness," said Catherine to me, "that this very reason, added to your seeming coldness and disdain, made me hesitate frankly to come to you, fearing that this step might have appeared to you simply dictated by my anxiety for my child's health. "The condition of that poor child became so much worse that I resolved to conquer my timidity and tell you all at that ball at the Tuileries, but your greeting was so freezing, your departure so abrupt, that it became impossible for me. The next day I wrote to you; you did not answer. It was not, alas! until Irene's life was despaired of that I dared once more to write to you at Havre! God only knows with what admirable generosity you responded." After the first bitterness of her remorse, Catherine's love for me became calm, dignified, almost serene. One felt that, having exercised all her might to resist an unconquerable passion, this woman was prepared to endure with courageous resignation the consequences of her weakness. The four months we spent at the Grove were for me, for her, the ideal of happiness. But wherefore speak of happiness? This is now but Dead Sea ashes! What matter, alas! Let me continue the sad task I have imposed upon myself. When I was able to snatch some moments from the love which engrossed me, I wrote to M. de Sérigny to thank him for his good intentions towards me, which I had learned from the article in the official newspaper, and informed him that I would be absent for some months yet, that I was unable to disclose to him my place of abode, but begged him, in case any one inquired of him for me, to answer in such a way as might lead people to infer that I was in a foreign country. In the month of September Catherine heard that her husband would return towards the close of the year, and informed me that she intended returning to Paris. Catherine's intention surprised and grieved me. We had considerably discussed whether or not I should resume the duties I had taken upon me with M. de Sérigny. Catherine had persistently urged me to do so.