Parent and child -- Fiction; Sardinia (Italy) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction
"ANANIA, MY NINO,--I have waited for you till this moment trembling with
grief and love; but you have not come. Perhaps you are never coming any
more, and I write to you at this sweet hour of our meetings with death
in my heart and tears in my eyes which have not yet wept themselves out.
The pale moon is sinking in a clouded heaven, the night is sad, it seems
to me that all creation is oppressed by the ill-fortune which has
crushed our love.
"Anania, why did you deceive me?
"As you say, I knew what you were, and I loved you just because I am
above vulgar prejudice, and I wished to make up to you for the injustice
of fate. But I believed you also were superior to prejudice, and were
giving up all for me as I had given up all for you. Now, it seems, I
have been deceived. You have deceived me, hiding your real sentiments. I
believed and I still believe, that you knew your mother was alive and
even where she was, and what sort of life she was leading (indeed, every
one knew that!) but that you had no affection for this unnatural mother,
who had deserted you, and was your misfortune and dishonour. You
considered her dead for you and for every one. And I was quite sure that
if ever she thrust herself upon your notice, which I suppose is what has
happened, you would not condescend even to look at her. But on the
contrary, you want to drive away her who has loved you so many years and
will always love you, and to sacrifice your life and your honour to one,
who (if she hadn't had an easy place to drop you into) was quite ready
to kill you, or to leave you in a wood or a wilderness, a prey to
starvation and terror, just that she might set herself free!
"But why should I write all this? Surely you know it? Why do you try to
deceive me? Why do you appeal to sentiments which I can't possibly
entertain, and which I don't believe you entertain yourself? You aren't
going to do this stupid thing out of affection or out of generosity--I'm
sure you really hate the woman--but just out of regard to these same
vulgar prejudices which 'were invented by men to make all equally
miserable.' Yes, yes! You want to sacrifice yourself and to ruin me,
only for the glory of saying, '_I've done my duty!_' You are a silly
boy, your dreams are dangerous, and what's worse, ridiculous. People may
praise you to your face; behind your back they will laugh at your
simplicity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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